You are not sick. I don't care what your symptoms are. I don't care how you feel. I don't care what you've been diagnosed with. You are not sick. God healed you when he died for you on the cross. However, you have to claim the power of that healing.
No one gets to decide your health besides you and God. I've decided I'm not going to be sick and I've decided I'm not going to a doctor. God is my Great Physician. What more do I need? Do I need to put more faith in an earthly man and allow him to use my body like some chemistry experiment for the latest potion that the drug companies have concocted for him to pass out? Not hardly! Will I live and die according to some man's best guess on what's wrong with me or what will fix me? No, thanks.
I will live and die by faith in the Lord. If I'm wrong and I die of some simple disease that could have been cured by modern medicine, I'm gonna go home anyways and at least I won't have sat in fear and worry waiting for it to kill me, which is what so many people do after the doctor hands them their death sentence. There are a great many people who have lived on simply because they didn't let someone tell them that something was killing them.
The devil is a thief and a liar. He will steal your health, your joy, and your life if you let him because he knows he cannot steal your soul if you belong to the Heavenly Father. Your physical body, however, is of this world and he will bring hell to it if you don't guard yourself. He attacks your body through your mind. He gives you a slight physical manifestation, a symptom, if you will. It can be anything...a sore throat, a fever, swollen gland, pain in the side, irregular heart beat, a rash, and the list goes on. The devil is not without power here, and he has so much more of it than we give him credit for. It's not that he's not a good ventiliquist and puppeteer. He can do all this, and you won't see his lips move and you won't see the strings.
What we must remember is that while it's a very good act, it is nothing more than an act for Christians. Jesus Christ beat him and every demon and power he has on the cross. Therefore, the devil has NO power to determine your reality. He will do his best to convince you that you are very sick and there's something bad wrong with you and that if you don't get yourself to the doctor quick you will ultimately get worse and/or....GASP....DIE. Do not be afraid of death. We are immortal!
This is how easily the devil can take you out of this world if you let him. You get cold like symptoms. At first, you think its just a cold and you take over the counter medicine (first mistake). You don't get better. In fact, you get much worse. You've got a throat that burns, you've got a fever, you've got major fatigue and chills, you don't feel like eating, you feel dehydrated and exhausted. You go to the doctor (second mistake). They put you on antibiotics (third mistake). You don't get better so you go back to this same doctor and he gives you a different antibiotic (fourth mistake). You don't get better so he says he needs to check on your immune system (fifth mistake). Now, the Devil has you poised and ready to get some major disease that he can kill you with. What do we think when our immune system is not top knotch? HIV, cancer, heart failure, etc. Now he has you running scared.
This could be a crucial turning point. Why don't you stop at this point and tell the devil that you are not going to die. There is nothing wrong with you or your immune system except that your body had a pretty strong devil induced annoyance, and your body and your God would have fixed it except for two things. Number 1: you jacked up your body's abilities to heal itself by drugging it up. Number 2: you didn't seek your Heavenly Physician, you sought your earthly one. What good has he done you? Did he cure you? No, because he's a man and a man cannot in his own strength beat the devil, no matter how badly he wants to. This is because he has neither the strength nor the knowledge, and he usually has no clue what he's fighting or what his weapons are.
Here's the thing. The devil can make Christians "feel" sick. He can create symptoms and physical manifestations of sickness, but he cannot determine your reality if you won't let him. Therefore, when the devil shows you a sore throat, a fever, high blood pressure, irregular heart beat, high cholesterol... whatever the case may be tell him you are hip to his plan and you aren't buying it. Tell the devil...you are a thief and a liar and you do NOT get to determine the course of my life. I will not live in fear because you show me some symptoms of death. I will not get all frightened and run off to some modern doctor, who is really just a potion man with a lab coat instead of a bone through his nose.
I vote we tell the devil where to stick it. I vote we tell him, I see your numbness in my face radiating into my left arm. I raise you a BRING IT ON. I'm going to pray for my healing and know that if you do succeed in destroying this earthly body that the joke is on you because I'm going home and in the meantime I'm going to torture you by living in faith rather than worry and sickness. After all, the potion man can't cure us. He can only mitigate some of the symptoms some of the time, while giving us new ones (side effects) all along and telling us what to fear by telling us what we are dying from.
I'm not dying. Is my earthly body wasting away? Absolutely! Am I scared? No!
When its done wasting away to the point it is no longer functional, I'm going home. Right now, I'm going to live strong and healthy in the power of my God and I'm going to be every bit as happy as I would be if I weren't worrying about what other shoe the devil is about to drop on me. The devil will drop a bomb on you whenever he gets the chance, but your Savior is more powerful than all these things. Do not be afraid to look the devil in the face and laugh at him as you stand in the shadow of your Father's wings.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Sunday, August 16, 2009
trying to learn to cook
Things I've learned so far:
I still hate onions...be they sliced, diced, slivered, dehydrated, fried, powdered, soup mixed, etc. I hate ONIONS!
Superior Meat Loaf: (very easy and good if you like onions)
1 envelope onion soup mix
2 lbs ground beef
3/4 cup plain dry bread crumbs
2 eggs
3/4 cup water
1/3 ketchup
Preheat oven to 350. In large bowl, combine all ingredients. In 13 x 9 inch baking pan shape into loaf. Bake 1 hour until done. Let stand 10 minutes
Slow Cooker Pot Roast: (pretty simple and good aside from the onion soup mix)
1/4 cup water
4 medium red potatoes, cut in quarters
1 package peeled baby carrots
1 envelope onion soup mix
2 1/2 to 3 lbs bones beef chuck pot roast
Place water and three fourths of the vegetables in the slow cooker. Reserve 1 tablespoon onion soup mix. Sprinkle remaining onion soup mix over vegetables. Sprinkle and rub slat and pepper over the pot roast. Place pot roast on top of vegetables and place remaining vegetables around pot roast; sprinkle remaining onion soup mix on top.
Cook on low 8 to 9 hours or high 5 to 6.
Also, I hate mac n cheese, be it velveta or kraft although kraft is much better. It uses far less artificial ingredients even it is harder to make.
I like fried chicken....A LOT! :)
I like potatoes...particularly mashed but baked aren't bad either especially not if you load them down with all things bad for you. I'd like to learn how to Julienne a potato.
Bisquick does not make a good pizza crust even if they do have a recipe for that.
Biscquick Pizza
3 c. bisquick (less if like thin crust)
3/4 c. water
1 lb. ground beef
2 c. shredded
1 jar pizza sauce
Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Lightly grease pizza pan. Mix bisquick and water set aside. Cook ground beef until brown. Drain off grease. Add 1/2 jar of pizza sauce. Pat out bisquick in pan. Pour rest of pizza sauce on crust. Add beef mixture on top of tomato sauce. Top off with cheese. Bake 10 to 15 minutes until crust is golden brown and cheese melts.
I like sausage but only as balls so far.
Sausage Balls: (may be the best thing you can do with either bisquick or sausage)
2 1/2 cup bisquick mix
1 lb roll of jimmy dean sausage
8 oz grated cheese
Knead all of the above until moist. Pinch into ball shapes and bake on greased cookies sheet for 15 minutes at 425 or until tops are light brown
I like working with flour and sugar much better than with meat and flour.
Its more fun to make sweets than real meals because its easier to share sweets with the world.
I can make an excellent white chocolate macadmia nut cookie even if macadamia nuts are way over priced!
Its more fun to make cookies than cakes because the cookies always get eaten and the cake doesn't. It takes way longer to make cookies but it seems much harder to screw them up unless of course you add potato chips. That's not a good idea even though there is a recipe for that.
Potato Chip Cookies:
1 cup soft butter
1/2 cup sugar
1 3/4 cup all purpose flour
3/4 cup coarsely crushed potato chips
1 tsp vanilla
2/3 cup sifted powdered sugar
Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add flour, potato chips and vanilla, beat well. Drop dough by rounded teaspoons onto ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for 10 to 12 minutes. Let cooll for five minutes on cookie sheet. Remove and place on wire rack. When cool, sprinkle with powdered sugar.
I cannot make Rice Krispie treats no matter how simple that recipe sounds:
Rice Krispie Treats:
3 tablespoon butter or margarine
I package (10 oz) regular marshmallows
6 cups rice krispies
In large saucepan melt butter over low heat. Add marshmallows and stir until completely melted, remove from heat. Add cereal and stir until well coated. Using buttered spatula evenly press mixture into 13 x 9 inch pan coated with cooking spray.
Honey cookies are really good even if impossible to put onto the cookie sheets.
Touch O Honey
1 yellow cake mix
2 eggs
1/3 cup honey
1/3 cup margarine
1/c cup flour
Preheat oven to 350. Blend half of cake mix, honey, margarine, and flour, then beat until fluggy, mixing in rest of cake mix. Bake on ungreased cookie sheet 10 to 12 minutes.
There is no way to mess up peanut butter cookies no matter how you make them.
Example 1: (very very easy and good)
Peanut Butter Cookies:
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg
Mix all ingredients until it all forms 1 large ball. Pinch off small balls about the size of your thumb, place on cookie sheet and press our with fork to make crisscross design on top. Bake at 350 appoximately 10 minutes
Example 2: (very easy to mess this one up because the dough is very dry. I usually finess with more oil)
1 yellow cake mix
2 eggs
1/3 cup oil
3/4 cup crunchy peanut butter
sugar
Preaheat oven to 350. Mix together cake mix, eggs, and oil until powder is completely dissolved into dough. Stir in peanut butter. Drop balls of dough into a small bowl of sugar, then place on a greased cookie sheet. Press fork horizontally and then vertically across each ball to flatten. Bake 10-12 minutes or until golden brown.
Example 3:
3/4 cup unsalted butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoo vanilla
3/4 cup peanut butter
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups all purpose flour
Cream the butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Beat in the peanut butter, egg, and vanilla extract. In a separate bowl whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt. Add to the peanut butter
I'm not done with this topic just yet but its time to study insurance.
I still hate onions...be they sliced, diced, slivered, dehydrated, fried, powdered, soup mixed, etc. I hate ONIONS!
Superior Meat Loaf: (very easy and good if you like onions)
1 envelope onion soup mix
2 lbs ground beef
3/4 cup plain dry bread crumbs
2 eggs
3/4 cup water
1/3 ketchup
Preheat oven to 350. In large bowl, combine all ingredients. In 13 x 9 inch baking pan shape into loaf. Bake 1 hour until done. Let stand 10 minutes
Slow Cooker Pot Roast: (pretty simple and good aside from the onion soup mix)
1/4 cup water
4 medium red potatoes, cut in quarters
1 package peeled baby carrots
1 envelope onion soup mix
2 1/2 to 3 lbs bones beef chuck pot roast
Place water and three fourths of the vegetables in the slow cooker. Reserve 1 tablespoon onion soup mix. Sprinkle remaining onion soup mix over vegetables. Sprinkle and rub slat and pepper over the pot roast. Place pot roast on top of vegetables and place remaining vegetables around pot roast; sprinkle remaining onion soup mix on top.
Cook on low 8 to 9 hours or high 5 to 6.
Also, I hate mac n cheese, be it velveta or kraft although kraft is much better. It uses far less artificial ingredients even it is harder to make.
I like fried chicken....A LOT! :)
I like potatoes...particularly mashed but baked aren't bad either especially not if you load them down with all things bad for you. I'd like to learn how to Julienne a potato.
Bisquick does not make a good pizza crust even if they do have a recipe for that.
Biscquick Pizza
3 c. bisquick (less if like thin crust)
3/4 c. water
1 lb. ground beef
2 c. shredded
1 jar pizza sauce
Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Lightly grease pizza pan. Mix bisquick and water set aside. Cook ground beef until brown. Drain off grease. Add 1/2 jar of pizza sauce. Pat out bisquick in pan. Pour rest of pizza sauce on crust. Add beef mixture on top of tomato sauce. Top off with cheese. Bake 10 to 15 minutes until crust is golden brown and cheese melts.
I like sausage but only as balls so far.
Sausage Balls: (may be the best thing you can do with either bisquick or sausage)
2 1/2 cup bisquick mix
1 lb roll of jimmy dean sausage
8 oz grated cheese
Knead all of the above until moist. Pinch into ball shapes and bake on greased cookies sheet for 15 minutes at 425 or until tops are light brown
I like working with flour and sugar much better than with meat and flour.
Its more fun to make sweets than real meals because its easier to share sweets with the world.
I can make an excellent white chocolate macadmia nut cookie even if macadamia nuts are way over priced!
Its more fun to make cookies than cakes because the cookies always get eaten and the cake doesn't. It takes way longer to make cookies but it seems much harder to screw them up unless of course you add potato chips. That's not a good idea even though there is a recipe for that.
Potato Chip Cookies:
1 cup soft butter
1/2 cup sugar
1 3/4 cup all purpose flour
3/4 cup coarsely crushed potato chips
1 tsp vanilla
2/3 cup sifted powdered sugar
Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add flour, potato chips and vanilla, beat well. Drop dough by rounded teaspoons onto ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 for 10 to 12 minutes. Let cooll for five minutes on cookie sheet. Remove and place on wire rack. When cool, sprinkle with powdered sugar.
I cannot make Rice Krispie treats no matter how simple that recipe sounds:
Rice Krispie Treats:
3 tablespoon butter or margarine
I package (10 oz) regular marshmallows
6 cups rice krispies
In large saucepan melt butter over low heat. Add marshmallows and stir until completely melted, remove from heat. Add cereal and stir until well coated. Using buttered spatula evenly press mixture into 13 x 9 inch pan coated with cooking spray.
Honey cookies are really good even if impossible to put onto the cookie sheets.
Touch O Honey
1 yellow cake mix
2 eggs
1/3 cup honey
1/3 cup margarine
1/c cup flour
Preheat oven to 350. Blend half of cake mix, honey, margarine, and flour, then beat until fluggy, mixing in rest of cake mix. Bake on ungreased cookie sheet 10 to 12 minutes.
There is no way to mess up peanut butter cookies no matter how you make them.
Example 1: (very very easy and good)
Peanut Butter Cookies:
1 cup peanut butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg
Mix all ingredients until it all forms 1 large ball. Pinch off small balls about the size of your thumb, place on cookie sheet and press our with fork to make crisscross design on top. Bake at 350 appoximately 10 minutes
Example 2: (very easy to mess this one up because the dough is very dry. I usually finess with more oil)
1 yellow cake mix
2 eggs
1/3 cup oil
3/4 cup crunchy peanut butter
sugar
Preaheat oven to 350. Mix together cake mix, eggs, and oil until powder is completely dissolved into dough. Stir in peanut butter. Drop balls of dough into a small bowl of sugar, then place on a greased cookie sheet. Press fork horizontally and then vertically across each ball to flatten. Bake 10-12 minutes or until golden brown.
Example 3:
3/4 cup unsalted butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoo vanilla
3/4 cup peanut butter
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups all purpose flour
Cream the butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Beat in the peanut butter, egg, and vanilla extract. In a separate bowl whisk together the flour, baking soda, and salt. Add to the peanut butter
I'm not done with this topic just yet but its time to study insurance.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
need to be bold
God is all powerful so he can allow Noah to live 800 years, years as we know them today, or years as they knew them in that time period or whatever. To God, a year is as a day so time is irrelevant to him anyways.
God is love. If we suffer, starve, are abused, molested, diseased, beaten, broken, robbed, cursed, alienated, tortured, neglected, and killed God's love is still unconditional. Just because bad things happen to you does not mean God has forsaken you or has stopped listening to your prayers or cries for help. God's plan for our lives is still right regardless of whether or not we can see or understand the plan and the big picture.
God allows free will. Just because sin and evil run rampant through this world does not mean God is not still in control. If the Devil lies to me and hardens my heart and I treats others harshly, coldly, and without love in my heart, God remains the same. My sin and my failure do not take power away from God. It takes power away from me.
Do I believe that the only people going to Heaven, that the only chosen people, are followers of Christ Jesus? With my whole heart! Being a part of this select few is not a view that I hold due to pride. How do I know? Because it does not make me happy to know that so few will spend eternity in Heaven with me. Why does a merciful God deny anyone Heaven? He doesn't.
Heaven is offered to us all and many reject it. God doesn't make you go; he just asks you if you want to and tells your heart how to get there. God allows free will because he created us in his own image to fellowship with him. If we are drones with no choice but him and no choice but heaven, it doesn't mean anything. He wants us to choose to give our lives to him. He doesn't want to take them from us.
I've been told that it is Hubris and close mindedness to believe that Christians are the only religion going to Heaven. That belief is incidental to me. I hold that belief by default. I believe in God and that Jesus Christ is my Savior. Here comes the default part. The fact that I believe that means that I believe I need a savior, and what am I being saved from if not eternal damnation and separation from God because of my sins? Therefore, believing that Jesus Christ came and died on the cross for my sins, and believing I need a savior, then how could I believe everyone else doesn't?
Adopting the tenents and beliefs of Christianity is not pride; it is the absolute letting go of self pride. It is to say: my life has no value if I'm not being poured out as an instrument of Christ. Salvation, following Jesus Christ, living the abundant life, and eternity in Heaven are gifts. Furthermore, they are gifts meant to be shared. God intended for us to be fishers of men, to spread the Good News.
He did not intend for us to look at living our lives for him as burdens to shield others from but as a gift to joyfully share, regardless of their response to it or the stereotypes that world would place on it. I cannot control the lies the Devil will feed those around me, all I can do is offer the Truth as an alternative. I do not look at sharing my faith as cramming what I believe down the throats of others. I look at it as offering them an alternative to the evil and superficiality of this world to accept the peace, love, comfort, and strength that comes from knowing Christ Jesus.
I will not "open minded" myself right into hell. My believing that this religious group or that one will or will not be in hell has nothing to do with where they spend their eternity. What I believe about my salvation does, however, have everything to do with where I will spend mine, and I do believe that in order to get to heaven I must accept Jesus Christ as my Savior. I am not perfect. I am a sinner. Sin separates separates me from God and the wages of sin is death. Jesus Christ only can forgive me for those sins and reunite me with the Father.
God's word says many are called, few are chosen.
Wide is the road and narrow is the path that leads to salvation.
He stands at the door and knocks...
God is love. If we suffer, starve, are abused, molested, diseased, beaten, broken, robbed, cursed, alienated, tortured, neglected, and killed God's love is still unconditional. Just because bad things happen to you does not mean God has forsaken you or has stopped listening to your prayers or cries for help. God's plan for our lives is still right regardless of whether or not we can see or understand the plan and the big picture.
God allows free will. Just because sin and evil run rampant through this world does not mean God is not still in control. If the Devil lies to me and hardens my heart and I treats others harshly, coldly, and without love in my heart, God remains the same. My sin and my failure do not take power away from God. It takes power away from me.
Do I believe that the only people going to Heaven, that the only chosen people, are followers of Christ Jesus? With my whole heart! Being a part of this select few is not a view that I hold due to pride. How do I know? Because it does not make me happy to know that so few will spend eternity in Heaven with me. Why does a merciful God deny anyone Heaven? He doesn't.
Heaven is offered to us all and many reject it. God doesn't make you go; he just asks you if you want to and tells your heart how to get there. God allows free will because he created us in his own image to fellowship with him. If we are drones with no choice but him and no choice but heaven, it doesn't mean anything. He wants us to choose to give our lives to him. He doesn't want to take them from us.
I've been told that it is Hubris and close mindedness to believe that Christians are the only religion going to Heaven. That belief is incidental to me. I hold that belief by default. I believe in God and that Jesus Christ is my Savior. Here comes the default part. The fact that I believe that means that I believe I need a savior, and what am I being saved from if not eternal damnation and separation from God because of my sins? Therefore, believing that Jesus Christ came and died on the cross for my sins, and believing I need a savior, then how could I believe everyone else doesn't?
Adopting the tenents and beliefs of Christianity is not pride; it is the absolute letting go of self pride. It is to say: my life has no value if I'm not being poured out as an instrument of Christ. Salvation, following Jesus Christ, living the abundant life, and eternity in Heaven are gifts. Furthermore, they are gifts meant to be shared. God intended for us to be fishers of men, to spread the Good News.
He did not intend for us to look at living our lives for him as burdens to shield others from but as a gift to joyfully share, regardless of their response to it or the stereotypes that world would place on it. I cannot control the lies the Devil will feed those around me, all I can do is offer the Truth as an alternative. I do not look at sharing my faith as cramming what I believe down the throats of others. I look at it as offering them an alternative to the evil and superficiality of this world to accept the peace, love, comfort, and strength that comes from knowing Christ Jesus.
I will not "open minded" myself right into hell. My believing that this religious group or that one will or will not be in hell has nothing to do with where they spend their eternity. What I believe about my salvation does, however, have everything to do with where I will spend mine, and I do believe that in order to get to heaven I must accept Jesus Christ as my Savior. I am not perfect. I am a sinner. Sin separates separates me from God and the wages of sin is death. Jesus Christ only can forgive me for those sins and reunite me with the Father.
God's word says many are called, few are chosen.
Wide is the road and narrow is the path that leads to salvation.
He stands at the door and knocks...
Friday, May 22, 2009
The Southern Way
I grew up in Alabama. I'm living in Texas. It's not the same.
Southerners, those from the Southeast, not the Southwest, as Texans still think they are Southern, have a way all their own.
Southerners are independent, stubborn, and proud as hell. We have this I can do it all on my own and take on the whole world while doing it attitude. It's this concept that I don't need anything from anyone and don't want to be a burden anyways.
The flip side of that is that no one in the South wants you to feel like a burden. They won't make you ask for help. Because they love and care about you, they'll take notice of your needs and just get it taken care of. They won't make you reach out and humble yourself to the point of saying I can't do this or I need help with that. Because they know you'd rather do without and endure any hardship to avoid that, and that if they have to ask you to do something for them that it won't mean anything. They know you have the same needs they do and that if you wanted to help them you'd have done it already. They don't want you to help them begrundingly and they'd rather eat shit and die than be your charity case. As a result, a Southern person will help the stupid SOB who won't ask for help and never mention having done it and not even expect a thank you.
The interaction goes a little something like this:
"You didn't have to do that. I could have taken care of that myself."
"I know. I just saw it needing doing and felt like doing it.
As you can see, much of what is transpiring goes unsaid. The emotion is lacking entirely from the conversation, but there is so much heart in what took place there that I don't know that outsiders can really get a feel for it.
Many Southerners don't really own anything of value. Therefore, the value is in the way they live and treat each other. Life becomes about how you can prove yourself a good man or woman and how you love those around you. Life is not about what you drive, earn, live in, or own. It's not about what you have or who you're trying to become. It's about what you give away and who you are. It's about who trusts and believes in you and what you believe in.
I was born and raised there. I'll you to my dying day that I don't need help with anything. That doesn't mean I don't want help and it doesn't mean I wouldn't let you help me.
It means I want you to recognize the need and never think of me as a burden, but think of it as a joy to do things for me because you care enough about me. On the outside, I'm a hard ass, but about six layers deep I have a heart of gold. Is it easy to get down there to see that? Hell no! I'll fight you every step of the way. Why? Because where I come from, people don't expect life to be easy, and the things worth fighting for are the only things worth having anyways. So why would I give you that which is valuable to me if you don't value it enough to fight for it?
I like Texas pretty well and I'm happy out here, but I miss feeling safe the way I do when I'm in the company of true Southerners. In my mind, heaven is being surrounded by a handful of people whose lives are lived to serve and please God, and whose goal is to figure out how to treat one another better. It seems like most of the people I've met out here live their lives only to have one experience after another, just to say I did that, I tried that. That's their definition of being alive, and their interaction with one another is not about being better to each other it's about trying to get the better of one another.
They never ask themselves of what value their expereiences are. They never ask whether it would be pleasing to God, whether they'd learn anything, or in any way enrich those around them. To me, they live their lives for no greater purpose than their own pleasure, and because of this I don't trust them and I feel like I spend my time in their company on the defensive. I feel like they wait to terrorize me and rip me limb from limb, just for the experience of it.
The people I've met out here seem to think you back your friends no matter what. I don't believe in that. I believe when they are wrong, you say their wrong. I believe you love them enough to make them experience the pain of growing into a better person. I believe we are a reflection of those we spend our time with. Therefore, if we don't reflect light back to one another, even when it burns, that we'll all walk in darkness.
I want to spend my time with people whose esteem I'm trying to be good enough to earn, rather than to spend my time with people I'm trying to be bad enough to impress.
Southerners, those from the Southeast, not the Southwest, as Texans still think they are Southern, have a way all their own.
Southerners are independent, stubborn, and proud as hell. We have this I can do it all on my own and take on the whole world while doing it attitude. It's this concept that I don't need anything from anyone and don't want to be a burden anyways.
The flip side of that is that no one in the South wants you to feel like a burden. They won't make you ask for help. Because they love and care about you, they'll take notice of your needs and just get it taken care of. They won't make you reach out and humble yourself to the point of saying I can't do this or I need help with that. Because they know you'd rather do without and endure any hardship to avoid that, and that if they have to ask you to do something for them that it won't mean anything. They know you have the same needs they do and that if you wanted to help them you'd have done it already. They don't want you to help them begrundingly and they'd rather eat shit and die than be your charity case. As a result, a Southern person will help the stupid SOB who won't ask for help and never mention having done it and not even expect a thank you.
The interaction goes a little something like this:
"You didn't have to do that. I could have taken care of that myself."
"I know. I just saw it needing doing and felt like doing it.
As you can see, much of what is transpiring goes unsaid. The emotion is lacking entirely from the conversation, but there is so much heart in what took place there that I don't know that outsiders can really get a feel for it.
Many Southerners don't really own anything of value. Therefore, the value is in the way they live and treat each other. Life becomes about how you can prove yourself a good man or woman and how you love those around you. Life is not about what you drive, earn, live in, or own. It's not about what you have or who you're trying to become. It's about what you give away and who you are. It's about who trusts and believes in you and what you believe in.
I was born and raised there. I'll you to my dying day that I don't need help with anything. That doesn't mean I don't want help and it doesn't mean I wouldn't let you help me.
It means I want you to recognize the need and never think of me as a burden, but think of it as a joy to do things for me because you care enough about me. On the outside, I'm a hard ass, but about six layers deep I have a heart of gold. Is it easy to get down there to see that? Hell no! I'll fight you every step of the way. Why? Because where I come from, people don't expect life to be easy, and the things worth fighting for are the only things worth having anyways. So why would I give you that which is valuable to me if you don't value it enough to fight for it?
I like Texas pretty well and I'm happy out here, but I miss feeling safe the way I do when I'm in the company of true Southerners. In my mind, heaven is being surrounded by a handful of people whose lives are lived to serve and please God, and whose goal is to figure out how to treat one another better. It seems like most of the people I've met out here live their lives only to have one experience after another, just to say I did that, I tried that. That's their definition of being alive, and their interaction with one another is not about being better to each other it's about trying to get the better of one another.
They never ask themselves of what value their expereiences are. They never ask whether it would be pleasing to God, whether they'd learn anything, or in any way enrich those around them. To me, they live their lives for no greater purpose than their own pleasure, and because of this I don't trust them and I feel like I spend my time in their company on the defensive. I feel like they wait to terrorize me and rip me limb from limb, just for the experience of it.
The people I've met out here seem to think you back your friends no matter what. I don't believe in that. I believe when they are wrong, you say their wrong. I believe you love them enough to make them experience the pain of growing into a better person. I believe we are a reflection of those we spend our time with. Therefore, if we don't reflect light back to one another, even when it burns, that we'll all walk in darkness.
I want to spend my time with people whose esteem I'm trying to be good enough to earn, rather than to spend my time with people I'm trying to be bad enough to impress.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Corinthinians Love
Love Always Perserves by Rev Jonathan Riddle
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
C.S. Lewis remarked within hours after losing his wife to bone cancer, "Why love if losing hurts so much?"
I suppose the reason why losing hurts deeply is because we love deeply. The scriptures teach us that loving is as much about us as it is about the other person. The reason we love others is to know that we're not alone. Lewis wrote, "I can teach now of costly love because of my own personal experience ... personal experience is the brutal teacher."
I write this column to share from my heart as a Christian, as a pastor and from my own personal experience. My older brother has struggled on and off with drug addiction for as many years as I can remember. It is hard to put into words watching someone you love slowly killing themselves in front of you. Most of my family has cut themselves off because it is too painful to stay engaged.
I suspect I would follow the same pattern if I fail to remember my own story of Jesus raising my life from out of the ashes. Believe me, I'm not strong and I'm not brave, and yet I know that I am a Christian with a burden to carry and a message to share. That is no matter how far someone falls, no matter how deep the pit, we must tell them that "no pit is so deep that God's love is not deeper still."
As Christians, we are called to stay engaged even at great cost to ourselves, because this is exactly what our master did for us, He laid down His life that we might have it, and no servant is greater than his master.
Since SouthPoint's beginning just over two years ago, one of the great lessons I'm learning is that everybody has a story. Every story is different and yet they're all somewhat familiar, asking the same questions, how do you love someone, how do you stay engaged, when it hurts so much?
Recently I watched again, one of my favorite movies, "A River Runs Through It." Norman Maclean's (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_Maclean) great American novel has touched so many because it depicts the emotions of those who've risked to love and suffered because of it. He shares of his experience listening to his father's last sermon on costly love shortly before his death.
"Each one of us today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing help Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding."
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
C.S. Lewis remarked within hours after losing his wife to bone cancer, "Why love if losing hurts so much?"
I suppose the reason why losing hurts deeply is because we love deeply. The scriptures teach us that loving is as much about us as it is about the other person. The reason we love others is to know that we're not alone. Lewis wrote, "I can teach now of costly love because of my own personal experience ... personal experience is the brutal teacher."
I write this column to share from my heart as a Christian, as a pastor and from my own personal experience. My older brother has struggled on and off with drug addiction for as many years as I can remember. It is hard to put into words watching someone you love slowly killing themselves in front of you. Most of my family has cut themselves off because it is too painful to stay engaged.
I suspect I would follow the same pattern if I fail to remember my own story of Jesus raising my life from out of the ashes. Believe me, I'm not strong and I'm not brave, and yet I know that I am a Christian with a burden to carry and a message to share. That is no matter how far someone falls, no matter how deep the pit, we must tell them that "no pit is so deep that God's love is not deeper still."
As Christians, we are called to stay engaged even at great cost to ourselves, because this is exactly what our master did for us, He laid down His life that we might have it, and no servant is greater than his master.
Since SouthPoint's beginning just over two years ago, one of the great lessons I'm learning is that everybody has a story. Every story is different and yet they're all somewhat familiar, asking the same questions, how do you love someone, how do you stay engaged, when it hurts so much?
Recently I watched again, one of my favorite movies, "A River Runs Through It." Norman Maclean's (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_Maclean) great American novel has touched so many because it depicts the emotions of those who've risked to love and suffered because of it. He shares of his experience listening to his father's last sermon on costly love shortly before his death.
"Each one of us today will at one time in our lives look upon a loved one who is in need and ask the same question: We are willing help Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give or, more often than not, the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them - we can love completely without complete understanding."
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Mission Statement
I will not let anything I attempt to do in honor of God come between me and God or become bigger to me than God.
I will not let myself be defined by any one thing other than God.
I will not tolerate idols in my life even if they appear to me as seemingly good things. Anything other than God in which you invest too much of your time, money & mental resources is an idol. Do not let even the best things in your life get out or proportion; all things in moderation.
Do not think you have the power to throw anything in the devil's face other than God. Any victory over satan is not yours and not come from any power of yours...to God be the glory!
Eliminate anything that is the source of your anger with God.
Do not tolerate negative self talk.
I will stop wearing abstinence around like some Christian badge of honor, like some special thing I have or am. BULLSHIT!
Just be liberated and free now that you don't have a ten foot wall around you dooming all your relationships to failure "for God" and then blaming Him for it.
I will not let myself be defined by any one thing other than God.
I will not tolerate idols in my life even if they appear to me as seemingly good things. Anything other than God in which you invest too much of your time, money & mental resources is an idol. Do not let even the best things in your life get out or proportion; all things in moderation.
Do not think you have the power to throw anything in the devil's face other than God. Any victory over satan is not yours and not come from any power of yours...to God be the glory!
Eliminate anything that is the source of your anger with God.
Do not tolerate negative self talk.
I will stop wearing abstinence around like some Christian badge of honor, like some special thing I have or am. BULLSHIT!
Just be liberated and free now that you don't have a ten foot wall around you dooming all your relationships to failure "for God" and then blaming Him for it.
Monday, August 04, 2008
Good Steward
Tithing: Giving 10% of my gross income to the Church.
10% doesn't sound like much at first, until you put it into practice and find yourself writing a check every two weeks for that 10%. You start thinking about all the things you could buy with that money: the extras you are doing without, the unexpected expenses it would cover, the trips you could take, the exam materials for your job you could buy, etc.
You even find yourself saying, well I would like to contribute money to the insurance program at my former college and since that is charitable giving, I can just not tithe that particular paycheck and use that money for the insurance program. God won't mind; it's a good cause. It's an all too familar little voice, and it belongs to the devil. While it's true, that is a good cause, it's not "kindgom building" money. The professor of that program does not even believe in Jesus Christ. She thinks Buddha is the end all and be all. She wonders why life is so hard and why she is unhappy and she still thinks the Buddha she wears around her neck (that idol) has any power to make her life any better, any more fulfilled, any more peaceful. Sad.
The major point is that tithing is one of the easiest ways to find out what people believe about God. Do they really have faith? Do they really trust Him to provide for them when they give up all that additional money every month? Do they really believe that God will bless that money and that its use will be better than anything they could do with it? Do they really believe He will bless their efforts tenfold as He promises to do?
Look at what people spend their money on and you will see what kind of person you are dealing with. Is it all about the latest technology? the fanciest cars? the nicest houses? Is it all about cheap thrills on a Friday night?
Or is it about making the lives of others better, easier? Simplifying: appreciating more and having less? Learning to be satisfied with less stuff to bless the lives of others more?
I recently started my adult career in January and have just very recently started tithing. One of the hardest things I've ever done in my walk with God is writing that check and dropping that money in the collection plate every two weeks when I get paid. It is a perpetual dying to one's self and choosing God and His ways above my own. When you start talking money with people, you are hitting them where they live. I've never even considered myself to be a materialistic, money-grubbing sort of person so I've been surprised at how difficult I've found this to be.
What I try to do is remind myself that this money is not mine. It has never belonged to me. It's always been God's money and for me to withhold it from Him is to steal from the Kingdom of God. When I take my last breath here and go back home, I do not want to explain to Him why it is I decided to steal from the Kingdom of God. I don't want to say, well, God, you see: I needed those books for my professional designation, and I needed to fly to Chicago to visit my friend, and I had to get work done on my car, and I had to have my fillings replaced, and I needed a new TV, and I wanted a bike so that's why the missionaries didn't get sent and that's why the children weren't fed, and that's why X number of people perished without ever knowing you.
He will say that is why you had more and enjoyed less and that's why your faith couldn't move mountains and why you never experienced true peace. That's why you never really experienced the intimate relationship with me I intended you to have. You didn't trust me with your everything, so there is no way I could give you the abundant life I came to earth and died on the cross that you might enjoy.
The truth is that every monetary benefit I experience is a direct result of the blessings which God bestows upon me. The reason why I'm as financially stable as I am is solely because God has seen fit to bless me. God tells us that those who can be trusted with little will be given much and those who cannot be trusted with little, even what they have will be taken from them. That doesn't mean that some months you won't be scraping by. I promise you, you will. It simply means that your Heavenly Father will provide for you and always has your best interests at heart. Your needs will always be met, even if you don't always think they are. After all, God has a really different perspective than we do on what we need. The difference is he actually knows what we need.
If you really believe that giving 10% of your income to God is going to break you financially, you might want to re-evaluate where the other 90% is going.
10% doesn't sound like much at first, until you put it into practice and find yourself writing a check every two weeks for that 10%. You start thinking about all the things you could buy with that money: the extras you are doing without, the unexpected expenses it would cover, the trips you could take, the exam materials for your job you could buy, etc.
You even find yourself saying, well I would like to contribute money to the insurance program at my former college and since that is charitable giving, I can just not tithe that particular paycheck and use that money for the insurance program. God won't mind; it's a good cause. It's an all too familar little voice, and it belongs to the devil. While it's true, that is a good cause, it's not "kindgom building" money. The professor of that program does not even believe in Jesus Christ. She thinks Buddha is the end all and be all. She wonders why life is so hard and why she is unhappy and she still thinks the Buddha she wears around her neck (that idol) has any power to make her life any better, any more fulfilled, any more peaceful. Sad.
The major point is that tithing is one of the easiest ways to find out what people believe about God. Do they really have faith? Do they really trust Him to provide for them when they give up all that additional money every month? Do they really believe that God will bless that money and that its use will be better than anything they could do with it? Do they really believe He will bless their efforts tenfold as He promises to do?
Look at what people spend their money on and you will see what kind of person you are dealing with. Is it all about the latest technology? the fanciest cars? the nicest houses? Is it all about cheap thrills on a Friday night?
Or is it about making the lives of others better, easier? Simplifying: appreciating more and having less? Learning to be satisfied with less stuff to bless the lives of others more?
I recently started my adult career in January and have just very recently started tithing. One of the hardest things I've ever done in my walk with God is writing that check and dropping that money in the collection plate every two weeks when I get paid. It is a perpetual dying to one's self and choosing God and His ways above my own. When you start talking money with people, you are hitting them where they live. I've never even considered myself to be a materialistic, money-grubbing sort of person so I've been surprised at how difficult I've found this to be.
What I try to do is remind myself that this money is not mine. It has never belonged to me. It's always been God's money and for me to withhold it from Him is to steal from the Kingdom of God. When I take my last breath here and go back home, I do not want to explain to Him why it is I decided to steal from the Kingdom of God. I don't want to say, well, God, you see: I needed those books for my professional designation, and I needed to fly to Chicago to visit my friend, and I had to get work done on my car, and I had to have my fillings replaced, and I needed a new TV, and I wanted a bike so that's why the missionaries didn't get sent and that's why the children weren't fed, and that's why X number of people perished without ever knowing you.
He will say that is why you had more and enjoyed less and that's why your faith couldn't move mountains and why you never experienced true peace. That's why you never really experienced the intimate relationship with me I intended you to have. You didn't trust me with your everything, so there is no way I could give you the abundant life I came to earth and died on the cross that you might enjoy.
The truth is that every monetary benefit I experience is a direct result of the blessings which God bestows upon me. The reason why I'm as financially stable as I am is solely because God has seen fit to bless me. God tells us that those who can be trusted with little will be given much and those who cannot be trusted with little, even what they have will be taken from them. That doesn't mean that some months you won't be scraping by. I promise you, you will. It simply means that your Heavenly Father will provide for you and always has your best interests at heart. Your needs will always be met, even if you don't always think they are. After all, God has a really different perspective than we do on what we need. The difference is he actually knows what we need.
If you really believe that giving 10% of your income to God is going to break you financially, you might want to re-evaluate where the other 90% is going.
Beam me up Scotty
I feel like an alien here, but God promised me I would.
Try telling people what you believe about living the life of a Christian, and they look at you like you have more than a few screws loose, even other Christians.
People closest to you will tell you that you aren't being realistic and living that way is not even practical.
Is it any wonder they say this? Let's revisit the first sentence: God promised us we would be aliens here. Besides that, God told us that we are not the ones being rejected. We are rejected because they first rejected Him.
This is not your home so don't live here like you are all cozy and wallow around in the slum and sin of the world.
Our Heavenly Father said, "If you love me, obey my commands." That's what I'm striving to do; I'm not always successful and I fail time and again, which is why I thank God for His grace and His mercy. However, what matters to God is that we adopt the attitude of Paul. We have to fight the good fight, we have to finish the race, and above all we have to keep the faith.
Faith is what you makes you willingly live a life contrary to all the lives around you, whatever it costs you here. I may not ever fully experience all the pleasures of this world, but what I do know is that any earthly sacrifice is nothing in comparison with the joy and fullness of a life lived for something greater than yourself, something so much greater than the superficial "happiness" of a life lived for things that are perishing and people who are but a breath.
I'm living my life for a Heavenly Father who is eternal and unshakeable. It is for this that I'm not willing to risk that which lasts forever on that which, at best, lasts 70 years but that could most likely disappear in the blink of an eye.
It all comes down to what you believe. I would be one of the top sinners indulging in the flesh if I did not believe that I have an eternal soul that is going one of two places after this earthly body fades away. Rather than a life of eternity in hell with shame and pain and "knashing of teeth," I choose a life of eternal holy joy and peace with my Father in Heaven.
Accepting the sacrifice of Jesus Christ is the way to get there. It's a catch 22 though because having accepted that sacrifice for the gift it is I cannot help but devote my life to Him. Through it all, I find peace here, amidst the schemes and whiles of the devil because try as he might to discourage me and make me believe that Jesus Christ is not all He claims to be, the devil has no dominion over me. I belong to Jesus Christ and my name is in the Book of Life. :)
Try telling people what you believe about living the life of a Christian, and they look at you like you have more than a few screws loose, even other Christians.
People closest to you will tell you that you aren't being realistic and living that way is not even practical.
Is it any wonder they say this? Let's revisit the first sentence: God promised us we would be aliens here. Besides that, God told us that we are not the ones being rejected. We are rejected because they first rejected Him.
This is not your home so don't live here like you are all cozy and wallow around in the slum and sin of the world.
Our Heavenly Father said, "If you love me, obey my commands." That's what I'm striving to do; I'm not always successful and I fail time and again, which is why I thank God for His grace and His mercy. However, what matters to God is that we adopt the attitude of Paul. We have to fight the good fight, we have to finish the race, and above all we have to keep the faith.
Faith is what you makes you willingly live a life contrary to all the lives around you, whatever it costs you here. I may not ever fully experience all the pleasures of this world, but what I do know is that any earthly sacrifice is nothing in comparison with the joy and fullness of a life lived for something greater than yourself, something so much greater than the superficial "happiness" of a life lived for things that are perishing and people who are but a breath.
I'm living my life for a Heavenly Father who is eternal and unshakeable. It is for this that I'm not willing to risk that which lasts forever on that which, at best, lasts 70 years but that could most likely disappear in the blink of an eye.
It all comes down to what you believe. I would be one of the top sinners indulging in the flesh if I did not believe that I have an eternal soul that is going one of two places after this earthly body fades away. Rather than a life of eternity in hell with shame and pain and "knashing of teeth," I choose a life of eternal holy joy and peace with my Father in Heaven.
Accepting the sacrifice of Jesus Christ is the way to get there. It's a catch 22 though because having accepted that sacrifice for the gift it is I cannot help but devote my life to Him. Through it all, I find peace here, amidst the schemes and whiles of the devil because try as he might to discourage me and make me believe that Jesus Christ is not all He claims to be, the devil has no dominion over me. I belong to Jesus Christ and my name is in the Book of Life. :)
Sunday, March 30, 2008
If I can see the speck in your eye it is because I have less than a speck of love in my heart
Jesus? Who is Jesus? Jesus is our savior who walked this earth preaching love, grace, and forgiveness. He spoke of hope and salvation for all sinners, not saints alone. He spoke of love covering over a multitude of sins. He spoke of correcting our brothers and sisters in Christ for not loving one another enough, for not building each other up, for not serving one another.
I know sin is all the same to God, but with my human mind and heart and soul it seems like one of the worst sins of all is to live a life devoid of true love for others-a life you spent sitting in negative judgement and criticism of others. A life of picking specks of sawdust from the eyes of others, despite the plank in your own eye.
A person of genuine warmth and kindness and friendliness who welcomes strangers and makes them feel like home is with us, the body of believers, the followers of Christ is who I want to be. I want to be someone who inspires peace and hope and confidence in others. I want to be someone who makes others believe first of all in our Savior and secondly in themselves. I don't want to inspire doubt and fear and confusion or self pity or hoplessness.
Okay so I'm a sinner; one who drinks and cusses and has sexually impure thoughts who fails to be as giving of my time as I should, who fails to have a servant's heart, and who fails to have a heart of true repentance the way I ought.
What do I not do? I don't fill the world up full of my judgement of its behavior. It's not my job! Or my right. It's my Father's job and he didn't delegate that duty to me. I don't critize and I don't make others feel bad, not for the things they don't accomplish or for their appearance and I don't make others feel like nothing, like they aren't special and they aren't valuable and they shouldn't be heard or that I don't want them around or that I feel sorry them.
I've met some people recently that represent the kind of person I want to be. They welcome new people into their group with open arms, like old friends. They get to know them just to shine the light of God into their lives. They find ways to include others in fellowship and they find ways to use their time and talents to serve God and teach to others to do the same, because he says "when I was hungry, you fed me. When I was thirsty, you gave me something to drink. When I was naked, you clothed me." They understand that as they do these things for one another, they do them unto God.
I cannot live a life of perfection on this earth. Of that, I have no doubt. But I will not live a life of misery doing what I can to make those around me miserable by constantly verbally belittling and berating them for the mistakes in their lives, pretending that because I do not drink and do not cuss and have never had a night of lust and I do not have piercings and tatoos and children out of wedlock or landed in prison for DUI or dropped out of college or gone bankrupt or smoked pot or what not that I'm the superior and ultimate Christian who gets to judge those who have done any or all those things.
I do not have that right! Neither do you! No one on this earth does. That is the business of Heaven! Besides, I would prefer any and all the sins on that list to having a hardened and calloused heart trying in vain to observe the law like a Pharisee paying lip service to God and all the while hating my brethen, his very children.
What do you accomplish if you have not love? You have nothing, you gain nothing. We were meant to point the lost to Jesus. Jesus is so much more love than he is judgment. Love saves people. Judgment is reserved even by God until the very end. Only when we are beyond saving are we are judged and condemned, never before that. God doesn't do it because he knows that until the very end there is hope for us and that judgment inspires and saves no one. Judgment is nothing more than the exclamation point of dissatisfation on a life lived without God. Judgment is not about a life full of mistakes. Unlike human beings God forgives failures and flaws.
You fail God only when you refuse to let him do for you what you cannot do for yourself. You cannot save yourself. You cannot follow the law. You can only follow Jesus. Take your sins and your imperfections and cover over their multitude with the love of Christ and pour it all out into the world of sinners. Love the evil in your heart out and love it out of others.
Don't judge others but remind and encourage your brothers and sisters in Christ to love another with the love Christ has shown us.
I know sin is all the same to God, but with my human mind and heart and soul it seems like one of the worst sins of all is to live a life devoid of true love for others-a life you spent sitting in negative judgement and criticism of others. A life of picking specks of sawdust from the eyes of others, despite the plank in your own eye.
A person of genuine warmth and kindness and friendliness who welcomes strangers and makes them feel like home is with us, the body of believers, the followers of Christ is who I want to be. I want to be someone who inspires peace and hope and confidence in others. I want to be someone who makes others believe first of all in our Savior and secondly in themselves. I don't want to inspire doubt and fear and confusion or self pity or hoplessness.
Okay so I'm a sinner; one who drinks and cusses and has sexually impure thoughts who fails to be as giving of my time as I should, who fails to have a servant's heart, and who fails to have a heart of true repentance the way I ought.
What do I not do? I don't fill the world up full of my judgement of its behavior. It's not my job! Or my right. It's my Father's job and he didn't delegate that duty to me. I don't critize and I don't make others feel bad, not for the things they don't accomplish or for their appearance and I don't make others feel like nothing, like they aren't special and they aren't valuable and they shouldn't be heard or that I don't want them around or that I feel sorry them.
I've met some people recently that represent the kind of person I want to be. They welcome new people into their group with open arms, like old friends. They get to know them just to shine the light of God into their lives. They find ways to include others in fellowship and they find ways to use their time and talents to serve God and teach to others to do the same, because he says "when I was hungry, you fed me. When I was thirsty, you gave me something to drink. When I was naked, you clothed me." They understand that as they do these things for one another, they do them unto God.
I cannot live a life of perfection on this earth. Of that, I have no doubt. But I will not live a life of misery doing what I can to make those around me miserable by constantly verbally belittling and berating them for the mistakes in their lives, pretending that because I do not drink and do not cuss and have never had a night of lust and I do not have piercings and tatoos and children out of wedlock or landed in prison for DUI or dropped out of college or gone bankrupt or smoked pot or what not that I'm the superior and ultimate Christian who gets to judge those who have done any or all those things.
I do not have that right! Neither do you! No one on this earth does. That is the business of Heaven! Besides, I would prefer any and all the sins on that list to having a hardened and calloused heart trying in vain to observe the law like a Pharisee paying lip service to God and all the while hating my brethen, his very children.
What do you accomplish if you have not love? You have nothing, you gain nothing. We were meant to point the lost to Jesus. Jesus is so much more love than he is judgment. Love saves people. Judgment is reserved even by God until the very end. Only when we are beyond saving are we are judged and condemned, never before that. God doesn't do it because he knows that until the very end there is hope for us and that judgment inspires and saves no one. Judgment is nothing more than the exclamation point of dissatisfation on a life lived without God. Judgment is not about a life full of mistakes. Unlike human beings God forgives failures and flaws.
You fail God only when you refuse to let him do for you what you cannot do for yourself. You cannot save yourself. You cannot follow the law. You can only follow Jesus. Take your sins and your imperfections and cover over their multitude with the love of Christ and pour it all out into the world of sinners. Love the evil in your heart out and love it out of others.
Don't judge others but remind and encourage your brothers and sisters in Christ to love another with the love Christ has shown us.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE
I am so blessed.
My arms bend at the elbow.
My legs are the same length.
I can feed, dress, and bathe myself.
I can walk, talk, breathe and use the restroom without the aid of man or machine.
I can hear and see.
I speak without a lisp, only a Southern accent.
I have food to spare, even if it does show a little about my waist.
I have no diet restrictions, no allergies to food.
I am not required to take presciption medicines.
I have a comfy, warm, and clean bed to sleep in.
I have clean water to bathe in and to drink.
I have family and friends who love me.
I have a job in a nice environment, and I have a car that gets me there.
I have plenty of clothes in my closet.
I live in a country founded in freedom and democracy, even if I'm not fond of the political candidates this go round.
I can worship my Lord and Savior whenever, wherever, and however I please, free of persecution or danger.
I have a past full of happy memories, and a future of hope.
I am blessed beyond measure.
I do not have problems, only mere annoyances.
Again I say, I'm blessed beyond measure.
Perhaps, you are too, despite your arguing yourself to the contrary.
My arms bend at the elbow.
My legs are the same length.
I can feed, dress, and bathe myself.
I can walk, talk, breathe and use the restroom without the aid of man or machine.
I can hear and see.
I speak without a lisp, only a Southern accent.
I have food to spare, even if it does show a little about my waist.
I have no diet restrictions, no allergies to food.
I am not required to take presciption medicines.
I have a comfy, warm, and clean bed to sleep in.
I have clean water to bathe in and to drink.
I have family and friends who love me.
I have a job in a nice environment, and I have a car that gets me there.
I have plenty of clothes in my closet.
I live in a country founded in freedom and democracy, even if I'm not fond of the political candidates this go round.
I can worship my Lord and Savior whenever, wherever, and however I please, free of persecution or danger.
I have a past full of happy memories, and a future of hope.
I am blessed beyond measure.
I do not have problems, only mere annoyances.
Again I say, I'm blessed beyond measure.
Perhaps, you are too, despite your arguing yourself to the contrary.
Saturday, March 01, 2008
FOR BAD NEWS
The hardest thing to learn?
This life will have misery, no matter how we live it.
However, suffering as a Child of God has purpose and it is a sweet suffering, a suffering borne of faith, hope, and love.
Suffering without salvation in Jesus Christ is total misery encased in hopelessness and worthlessness.
We draw close to God-we pray, we read our Bibles, and we go to Church.
What do we find?
We still struggle. Life is still hard.
Why, God, why is it hard?
It's hard because Satan hates that you're trying to be close to your Heavenly Father.
Plus, Satan knows what your greatest, deepest, darkest, most hideous, shameful and embarassing weaknesses are, and he bombards you with them daily. It's different for all of us. Some of us struggle with self-confidence others with pride and self love. Some of us love those on this earth too much and some of us don't love them enough. Some of us love material possessions too much and some make money an idol. Some of us hate our lives and do not have peace and joy but nothing more than the self pity and depression that come when you don't have a life filled with the peace and unbroken heart that only faith in our Lord Jesus Christ can give you. Some of us break every law in the Bible with no consideration of the consequences and others of us are so legalistic that we drain out every ounce of love that Jesus breathed into the Bible. Did you not see the verses that say that "Love covers over a multitude of sin." That's not a metaphor!!
You are in a war, you Christian Soldier! Bad things are going to happen to you. You are a human being and that is the human experience on this earth. This earth is run and controlled by demons and it has been infiltrated with the evil of Satan. Make no mistake about it: All evil is of Satan and all good is of God.
Can God can make sure evil and hard times never befalls you? Absolutely! But why would He? Think about this. If you are never attacked and you never feel the depth of your own weakness, you will also never find your source of strength in God.
With every trial and tribulation in your life that you take right back to God and lay at the foot of the cross and say, "I can't carry this with my own strength. It has to be you working through me. You have to stand for me because I can't," stengthens your testimony and shines the Glory of God into the world, which is what it so desperately needs!
You don't show the light and the love of God by reacting to pain and suffering and disaster and catastophe and betrayal and the heinous acts of others by crumbling like the world, by wringing your hands. You can only glorify God when you learn that happiness is not conditional. It is doing the will of God no matter what that means, no matter the sacrifice, no matter what you lose on account of it. It is that little voice at the end of the day, that says, "yes, Lord, yes yes Lord! I will forever trust and follow after you." It is Lot saying, "yes, Lord, I have lost everything of this world that meant anything to me, but I still belong to you. My heart is still yours!"
I want that to be what rings in eternity for me. I want that to be what I leave behind. I don't care what happens to me on this earth, what my experience is, what the cross I carry is, what the thorn in my side is. I want the message that rings in all eternity for me to be: "LORD, MY HEART IS STILL YOURS!"
After all, Satan is going to take some of the things that you love from you. The only way you can rob him back is to smile through the tears and take it to God. Run it back to the stronghold!
You know why you are special? The only thing that makes you special is belonging to God. His ownership, his blessings, his love, his mark, his suffering make you all the special you will ever need to be. The biggest loser on this earth that belongs to God is better off than anyone who doesn't, regardless of the trappings of wealth or success of this world.
Be fearless on this earth. Know that your confidence, your heart, your soul and the way in which you define yourself can never be broken, diminished or destroyed because it's all about the way God loves you, and that love is eternal and unforsakeable.
All you can do is glorify the One who has given you everything, and give others just a little bit of that peace and a little bit of that love.
Live outward. Focus on others and how you can serve them and lead them to God. How can you lighten their burden? If that's your focus, you will find you are carrying your burdens without feeling their weight.
Be prepared to serve God even when you're not too jazzed about it. I was in a young women's Bible study one time and one of the girl's said, "I don't think I could handle being single for a lifetime." The woman leading the Bible study said, "can you handle being single today?" That's the point: God's grace is sufficient for today, every single day.
Live in today. Do the best you can with what you have where you are, and take everything else to God. I am fearless, bold, outgoing, ambitious, intelligent, focused, and driven because God is to the right of me and to the left of me, he is beneath and above me. He is behind me and in front of me and within me. God surrounds me! I'm protected and blessed beyond all measure. I am His and he lets himself be mine-my Father, my portion, my peace, my fortress, strongold, and protector, healer, my everything!
This life will have misery, no matter how we live it.
However, suffering as a Child of God has purpose and it is a sweet suffering, a suffering borne of faith, hope, and love.
Suffering without salvation in Jesus Christ is total misery encased in hopelessness and worthlessness.
We draw close to God-we pray, we read our Bibles, and we go to Church.
What do we find?
We still struggle. Life is still hard.
Why, God, why is it hard?
It's hard because Satan hates that you're trying to be close to your Heavenly Father.
Plus, Satan knows what your greatest, deepest, darkest, most hideous, shameful and embarassing weaknesses are, and he bombards you with them daily. It's different for all of us. Some of us struggle with self-confidence others with pride and self love. Some of us love those on this earth too much and some of us don't love them enough. Some of us love material possessions too much and some make money an idol. Some of us hate our lives and do not have peace and joy but nothing more than the self pity and depression that come when you don't have a life filled with the peace and unbroken heart that only faith in our Lord Jesus Christ can give you. Some of us break every law in the Bible with no consideration of the consequences and others of us are so legalistic that we drain out every ounce of love that Jesus breathed into the Bible. Did you not see the verses that say that "Love covers over a multitude of sin." That's not a metaphor!!
You are in a war, you Christian Soldier! Bad things are going to happen to you. You are a human being and that is the human experience on this earth. This earth is run and controlled by demons and it has been infiltrated with the evil of Satan. Make no mistake about it: All evil is of Satan and all good is of God.
Can God can make sure evil and hard times never befalls you? Absolutely! But why would He? Think about this. If you are never attacked and you never feel the depth of your own weakness, you will also never find your source of strength in God.
With every trial and tribulation in your life that you take right back to God and lay at the foot of the cross and say, "I can't carry this with my own strength. It has to be you working through me. You have to stand for me because I can't," stengthens your testimony and shines the Glory of God into the world, which is what it so desperately needs!
You don't show the light and the love of God by reacting to pain and suffering and disaster and catastophe and betrayal and the heinous acts of others by crumbling like the world, by wringing your hands. You can only glorify God when you learn that happiness is not conditional. It is doing the will of God no matter what that means, no matter the sacrifice, no matter what you lose on account of it. It is that little voice at the end of the day, that says, "yes, Lord, yes yes Lord! I will forever trust and follow after you." It is Lot saying, "yes, Lord, I have lost everything of this world that meant anything to me, but I still belong to you. My heart is still yours!"
I want that to be what rings in eternity for me. I want that to be what I leave behind. I don't care what happens to me on this earth, what my experience is, what the cross I carry is, what the thorn in my side is. I want the message that rings in all eternity for me to be: "LORD, MY HEART IS STILL YOURS!"
After all, Satan is going to take some of the things that you love from you. The only way you can rob him back is to smile through the tears and take it to God. Run it back to the stronghold!
You know why you are special? The only thing that makes you special is belonging to God. His ownership, his blessings, his love, his mark, his suffering make you all the special you will ever need to be. The biggest loser on this earth that belongs to God is better off than anyone who doesn't, regardless of the trappings of wealth or success of this world.
Be fearless on this earth. Know that your confidence, your heart, your soul and the way in which you define yourself can never be broken, diminished or destroyed because it's all about the way God loves you, and that love is eternal and unforsakeable.
All you can do is glorify the One who has given you everything, and give others just a little bit of that peace and a little bit of that love.
Live outward. Focus on others and how you can serve them and lead them to God. How can you lighten their burden? If that's your focus, you will find you are carrying your burdens without feeling their weight.
Be prepared to serve God even when you're not too jazzed about it. I was in a young women's Bible study one time and one of the girl's said, "I don't think I could handle being single for a lifetime." The woman leading the Bible study said, "can you handle being single today?" That's the point: God's grace is sufficient for today, every single day.
Live in today. Do the best you can with what you have where you are, and take everything else to God. I am fearless, bold, outgoing, ambitious, intelligent, focused, and driven because God is to the right of me and to the left of me, he is beneath and above me. He is behind me and in front of me and within me. God surrounds me! I'm protected and blessed beyond all measure. I am His and he lets himself be mine-my Father, my portion, my peace, my fortress, strongold, and protector, healer, my everything!
Friday, February 08, 2008
Corporate Life
TV Shows often portray the bad sucky corporate sent person who comes into the work environment and messes everything up for everyone else.
I've never thought about it until just recently but that sucks.
I feel like I was brought in by corporate since I was handpicked by the CEO of this company to come in and slide in above people who have been there forever.
It sucks because secretly these people are jealous of you and some of them may even despise you and all of them most likely secretly hope you screw up.
It's not like TV portrays it. I'm not wretched and I have worked my ass off to get where I am.
Maybe it's just TV because everyone seems nice, but having people train you so you can move in above them is more than just a little uncomfortable.
I've never thought about it until just recently but that sucks.
I feel like I was brought in by corporate since I was handpicked by the CEO of this company to come in and slide in above people who have been there forever.
It sucks because secretly these people are jealous of you and some of them may even despise you and all of them most likely secretly hope you screw up.
It's not like TV portrays it. I'm not wretched and I have worked my ass off to get where I am.
Maybe it's just TV because everyone seems nice, but having people train you so you can move in above them is more than just a little uncomfortable.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Walking on Broken Glass
Satan is kicking my ass, but I'm not losing.
Last night I came home from Walmart, and I could not find a place in my complex to park.
I ended up parking in East Buddha and then carrying all of my groceries up three flights of stairs in several trips.
Today, I went to have my fingerprints done at the Prometric Testing Center so I can convert my insurance producer's license from Alabama to Texas. I left 30 minutes before the appointment and the place is not far away.
However, I drove down the road the place is located on in the wrong direction. I didn't discover this until the address numbers on the block randomly changed from 9700 to 4500. Then, I stopped at a gas station to ask for directions where I encountered a Chinese gas station attendant, who could not understand me. Thankfully, there was also a sweet older English speaking woman there who revealed to me I had driven about 10 miles in the wrong direction.
Needless to say, I was late for the appointment. I finally arrived and realized there was no parking spaces in front of it. The Prometric Center's patrons have to park on the third level of a garage, which I had trouble finding. However, I finally parked and went in and a sweet black lady did my fingerprints. Upon leaving, however, I discovered that the door I had left the garage from was locked so I had to walk up the ramp I had driven up to get to my car.
After the appointment, I decided to have a late lunch at Burger King and then catch a matinee movie. The place across the street from BK shows older movies for a buck. I saw Fred Clause because it's what was playing when I got there.
I thoroughly enjoyed my $1.00 movie and came out of the theatre in good spirits. As I approached my car, I saw that the passenger side window had been shattered and was in a million pieces all over my front seat. Seeing that and realizing it had actually happened was quite surreal and traumatic. I saw that a note had been left on my car from the Plano Police Deparment. I called to find out that someone saw the two guys who had broken the window and were in my car trying to steal the radio. The guy apparently ran them off and called the cop who had come out and done a report, complete with a picture of the damage. He said they had a partial plate on perpetrators' car.
When I got home, I called some auto repair guys who said they are coming out tomorrow to fix the damage. Luckily, it's only going to cost about $150 and they can do it tomorrow, so it won't interfere with work.
I decided I would be disciplined and go to the gym and run and try to shake it all off. As I was pulling my hair back, I dropped my brush in the commode.
When I got to the gym in my apartment complex, it's closed all weekend for remodeling. Perfect! The weekend is the best time for me to run since I have a long weekend and I don't get off of work until seven every night.
While fixing myself some supper, I ate some carrots and ranch dressing, so naturally I dropped the bowl of them on my kitchen floor.
Today has definitely been an eventful day off. The important thing though is that I did what I wanted to do today despite the bumps along the road and that Satan, despite his obvious and desperate attempts, to rob me off my happiness has failed miserably. I am still full of the love and peace of my Lord and Savior.
What have I proven if when the going gets tough I curse my luck and sob, "Why me?" "Why do bad things always happen to me?" Nothing! I cannot call myself a follower of Christ unless I seek Him and praise His name in the good times as well as the bad.
Loving the Lord and defeating Satan is about smiling when Satan punches you in the face. It's about navigating this life, with all its hardship, with God's grace. Allowing anger or misery or sadness to infiltrate you is what destroys you. The things on the outside of the body cannot harm us. Only the things that we allow to pentrate us, to settle in our souls can do that.
Did I have a bad afternoon? Absa-freaking-loutely! But it's a wonderful night!
Last night I came home from Walmart, and I could not find a place in my complex to park.
I ended up parking in East Buddha and then carrying all of my groceries up three flights of stairs in several trips.
Today, I went to have my fingerprints done at the Prometric Testing Center so I can convert my insurance producer's license from Alabama to Texas. I left 30 minutes before the appointment and the place is not far away.
However, I drove down the road the place is located on in the wrong direction. I didn't discover this until the address numbers on the block randomly changed from 9700 to 4500. Then, I stopped at a gas station to ask for directions where I encountered a Chinese gas station attendant, who could not understand me. Thankfully, there was also a sweet older English speaking woman there who revealed to me I had driven about 10 miles in the wrong direction.
Needless to say, I was late for the appointment. I finally arrived and realized there was no parking spaces in front of it. The Prometric Center's patrons have to park on the third level of a garage, which I had trouble finding. However, I finally parked and went in and a sweet black lady did my fingerprints. Upon leaving, however, I discovered that the door I had left the garage from was locked so I had to walk up the ramp I had driven up to get to my car.
After the appointment, I decided to have a late lunch at Burger King and then catch a matinee movie. The place across the street from BK shows older movies for a buck. I saw Fred Clause because it's what was playing when I got there.
I thoroughly enjoyed my $1.00 movie and came out of the theatre in good spirits. As I approached my car, I saw that the passenger side window had been shattered and was in a million pieces all over my front seat. Seeing that and realizing it had actually happened was quite surreal and traumatic. I saw that a note had been left on my car from the Plano Police Deparment. I called to find out that someone saw the two guys who had broken the window and were in my car trying to steal the radio. The guy apparently ran them off and called the cop who had come out and done a report, complete with a picture of the damage. He said they had a partial plate on perpetrators' car.
When I got home, I called some auto repair guys who said they are coming out tomorrow to fix the damage. Luckily, it's only going to cost about $150 and they can do it tomorrow, so it won't interfere with work.
I decided I would be disciplined and go to the gym and run and try to shake it all off. As I was pulling my hair back, I dropped my brush in the commode.
When I got to the gym in my apartment complex, it's closed all weekend for remodeling. Perfect! The weekend is the best time for me to run since I have a long weekend and I don't get off of work until seven every night.
While fixing myself some supper, I ate some carrots and ranch dressing, so naturally I dropped the bowl of them on my kitchen floor.
Today has definitely been an eventful day off. The important thing though is that I did what I wanted to do today despite the bumps along the road and that Satan, despite his obvious and desperate attempts, to rob me off my happiness has failed miserably. I am still full of the love and peace of my Lord and Savior.
What have I proven if when the going gets tough I curse my luck and sob, "Why me?" "Why do bad things always happen to me?" Nothing! I cannot call myself a follower of Christ unless I seek Him and praise His name in the good times as well as the bad.
Loving the Lord and defeating Satan is about smiling when Satan punches you in the face. It's about navigating this life, with all its hardship, with God's grace. Allowing anger or misery or sadness to infiltrate you is what destroys you. The things on the outside of the body cannot harm us. Only the things that we allow to pentrate us, to settle in our souls can do that.
Did I have a bad afternoon? Absa-freaking-loutely! But it's a wonderful night!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
On the Wings of an Eagle
Everyone I meet when they find out I moved out here from Alabama keeps asking, "Do you have family out here? Do you have friends out here?" I simply say, "nope," and I can tell they think I'm bold or adventurous or extremely independent or something like that. Many people back in Alabama seem to think the same thing.
The truth is: I did not move out here by myself. I'm a coward, and I never would.
The only reason I'm able to move halfway across the United States is because my Heavenly Father is with me. No matter where I go or what I do, he is always with me. He will never leave me or forsake me. He is always my source of comfort and peace and love and hope, which is why when the demons whisper lies in my ear:
"You are all alone out here. You have no friends and no family. You are in over your head. You are never going to make it. You are lonely. You are scared. In fact, you are not even going to be good at your job, and your bills are piling up."
I can look Satan in the face and call him the liar he is. This war that rages everyday between the Kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Chaos is a lot easier when you realize what's going on. I can see all my fear and doubt for what it is....lies. Today I'm not getting my ass kicked because God is allowing me to see the enemy trying to work in my life. After all, you can't fight what you can't see. "I once was blind, but now I see."
I'm living on faith and hope. I will make friends out here. I will be good at my job. I will be happy and make myself a home in Texas. I will do it by God!
How do I know?
Because my Lord and Savior promised it. He promised he had plans to prosper me and not to harm me. He promised me the abundant life. He promised me that if I asked for anything in his name I would have it.
And guess what?
He never renigs on a promise. He is the embodiment of truth.
Again with my favorite quote: God asked them to step out into the darkness where they could not see, and they did, knowing that either there would be something solid to stand on or they would be taught how to fly.
When changes in life push us out of our comfort zones, let us always remember that while there might not be anything solid to stand on, we are being taught how to fly.
Isaiah 40:31 tell us that "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint."
Am I fearless, courageous, bold, independent? Hell No! I'm using the biggest crutch of all...Jesus Christ! I'm using His eagle's wings!
Jeremiah 9:23, 24 and 1 Corinithians 1:31 say, "Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord." I'm boasting at the top of my virtual lungs! I could not be more proud to understand and know that the "Lord excercises kindness, justice, and righteousness on this earth."
It's your life, and it's your battle. You don't have to fight with the weapons which God has given you...his word of truth (Bible) and prayer, but the battle will rage on either way, and you are going to take hits no matter what. Don't just stand there...sock Satan in the face! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I thank God, for his Holy Spirit which dwells in me, has me fired up and all I can think about Satan is: Let me at him!
The truth is: I did not move out here by myself. I'm a coward, and I never would.
The only reason I'm able to move halfway across the United States is because my Heavenly Father is with me. No matter where I go or what I do, he is always with me. He will never leave me or forsake me. He is always my source of comfort and peace and love and hope, which is why when the demons whisper lies in my ear:
"You are all alone out here. You have no friends and no family. You are in over your head. You are never going to make it. You are lonely. You are scared. In fact, you are not even going to be good at your job, and your bills are piling up."
I can look Satan in the face and call him the liar he is. This war that rages everyday between the Kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Chaos is a lot easier when you realize what's going on. I can see all my fear and doubt for what it is....lies. Today I'm not getting my ass kicked because God is allowing me to see the enemy trying to work in my life. After all, you can't fight what you can't see. "I once was blind, but now I see."
I'm living on faith and hope. I will make friends out here. I will be good at my job. I will be happy and make myself a home in Texas. I will do it by God!
How do I know?
Because my Lord and Savior promised it. He promised he had plans to prosper me and not to harm me. He promised me the abundant life. He promised me that if I asked for anything in his name I would have it.
And guess what?
He never renigs on a promise. He is the embodiment of truth.
Again with my favorite quote: God asked them to step out into the darkness where they could not see, and they did, knowing that either there would be something solid to stand on or they would be taught how to fly.
When changes in life push us out of our comfort zones, let us always remember that while there might not be anything solid to stand on, we are being taught how to fly.
Isaiah 40:31 tell us that "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint."
Am I fearless, courageous, bold, independent? Hell No! I'm using the biggest crutch of all...Jesus Christ! I'm using His eagle's wings!
Jeremiah 9:23, 24 and 1 Corinithians 1:31 say, "Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord." I'm boasting at the top of my virtual lungs! I could not be more proud to understand and know that the "Lord excercises kindness, justice, and righteousness on this earth."
It's your life, and it's your battle. You don't have to fight with the weapons which God has given you...his word of truth (Bible) and prayer, but the battle will rage on either way, and you are going to take hits no matter what. Don't just stand there...sock Satan in the face! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I thank God, for his Holy Spirit which dwells in me, has me fired up and all I can think about Satan is: Let me at him!
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Evan and Jaron understand
Dating. Haha. I've done a ton of that lately. J/K. There doesn't seem to be any point in it. I mean really. It seems like no matter where I'm living or where the guy is living when the thing starts out, either he or I or both of us will be in two completely different cities further away then when it got started before long. It's even like that with guys I just think about dating.
First off, I was in Birmingham and he was there too.
Then I was in Troy and he is was still in Birmingham.
Secondly, he was in Tuscaloosa and I was in Troy.
Then he was in Destin and I was in Troy.
Thirdly, finally, we are both in Troy.
Then, he is in Montgomery and I'm in Birmingham.
Now I'm in Troy and soon I'll be in Texas.
Just once, I would like a dating relationship of mine to run from beginning to end, having never ended over anything to do with distance.
I'm really good at the long distance relationship. I'm not needy or clingy and I don't mind traveling and have no problem trusting someone or getting them to trust me. Ideally though, the distance would lessen not become greater.
First off, I was in Birmingham and he was there too.
Then I was in Troy and he is was still in Birmingham.
Secondly, he was in Tuscaloosa and I was in Troy.
Then he was in Destin and I was in Troy.
Thirdly, finally, we are both in Troy.
Then, he is in Montgomery and I'm in Birmingham.
Now I'm in Troy and soon I'll be in Texas.
Just once, I would like a dating relationship of mine to run from beginning to end, having never ended over anything to do with distance.
I'm really good at the long distance relationship. I'm not needy or clingy and I don't mind traveling and have no problem trusting someone or getting them to trust me. Ideally though, the distance would lessen not become greater.
Special is every day not called holiday
As everyone close to me has been hearing for the past several weeks, I hate the holidays!! It is just this wretched time of year other people declared to be special a long time ago. I think it just stresses most people out and depresses the rest. It's either people don't have enough money or time to buy presents for everyone they feel obligated to or they don't have anything great to do with fun people or they have to work and can't be with their families.
During all the time when we lived in Gardendale and it could have been fun, my mom has had to work. Now that we are living in a cracker jack box of a house, she is finally off for Chistmas. Our family is tiny, so it will basically just be me, my parents, and my unpleasant grandparents who don't have a single nice or loving thing to say to anyone. I'm too old to care about presents and I hate holiday food. Plus, Christmas is lousy because all anyone does is lay around and eat and there is nowhere to go because everything is closed and you can't escape with your friends because they are all engrossed in their families whether they want to be or not. Then there is nothing to watch on TV save for the same three Christmas movies shown on marathon mode.
New Year's isn't any better. We have been conditioned to believe that we what do for New Year's and who we spend it with sets the tone for the rest of the year. It makes me worry about myself. I never seem to be able to find anything fun to do or friends, though I have plenty of them, to spend it with.
I love my family and I love my Savior but I hate the holidays! Every other day that hasn't been named a holiday/ "special occasion" always seems to be a pretty damned good day because then people just do what they want to do with who they want to do it with, minus the bullshit and the obligation.
Think about it: Big holidays like Christmas, New Year's, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc are the only days that make you feel like you are supposed to be doing something in particular with particular people instead of doing what you would ordinarily be doing. If you aren't ordinarily a good person having a good time with people you love then some select days on a calendar are not going to save you from yourself.
Funny but if on Christmas I was to sit around in my room eating a hot pocket drinking some beer and watching good old movies, then I'm considered to be a sad lonely miserable person, but if I were to do that any other day people would just think I was just kicking back relaxing.
Special to me is unplanned. Special is what develops when were you weren't planning anything. Special is spur of the moment fun times together and spur of the moment joyfulness and thoughtfulness. Special is not going through the same motions every year because a day on the calendar is designated as special.
Special is what every day feels like to me that isn't called holiday:
-Special is not coming home for Christmas. It's I have a big interview coming up and I want to be home with mom and dad for counsel and moral support.
-Special is not Christmas presents. It's a friend who gives you a big plastic tub for a gift because you're moving.
-Special is not baked holiday goodies. It's a roommate who makes you homemade mac and cheese and cookies when your drunk and cinnamon rolls when you're cramming for an exam.
-Special is not Christmas dinner. It is family turkey helper nights with my married best friends
-Special is not the last minute dash to pick up a Christmas present. It is going out and getting fourth meal in the middle of the night with best friends.
-Special is not Chrismas decorations. Special is lighting up the whole house and decorating it top to bottom for a suprise birthday party.
During all the time when we lived in Gardendale and it could have been fun, my mom has had to work. Now that we are living in a cracker jack box of a house, she is finally off for Chistmas. Our family is tiny, so it will basically just be me, my parents, and my unpleasant grandparents who don't have a single nice or loving thing to say to anyone. I'm too old to care about presents and I hate holiday food. Plus, Christmas is lousy because all anyone does is lay around and eat and there is nowhere to go because everything is closed and you can't escape with your friends because they are all engrossed in their families whether they want to be or not. Then there is nothing to watch on TV save for the same three Christmas movies shown on marathon mode.
New Year's isn't any better. We have been conditioned to believe that we what do for New Year's and who we spend it with sets the tone for the rest of the year. It makes me worry about myself. I never seem to be able to find anything fun to do or friends, though I have plenty of them, to spend it with.
I love my family and I love my Savior but I hate the holidays! Every other day that hasn't been named a holiday/ "special occasion" always seems to be a pretty damned good day because then people just do what they want to do with who they want to do it with, minus the bullshit and the obligation.
Think about it: Big holidays like Christmas, New Year's, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc are the only days that make you feel like you are supposed to be doing something in particular with particular people instead of doing what you would ordinarily be doing. If you aren't ordinarily a good person having a good time with people you love then some select days on a calendar are not going to save you from yourself.
Funny but if on Christmas I was to sit around in my room eating a hot pocket drinking some beer and watching good old movies, then I'm considered to be a sad lonely miserable person, but if I were to do that any other day people would just think I was just kicking back relaxing.
Special to me is unplanned. Special is what develops when were you weren't planning anything. Special is spur of the moment fun times together and spur of the moment joyfulness and thoughtfulness. Special is not going through the same motions every year because a day on the calendar is designated as special.
Special is what every day feels like to me that isn't called holiday:
-Special is not coming home for Christmas. It's I have a big interview coming up and I want to be home with mom and dad for counsel and moral support.
-Special is not Christmas presents. It's a friend who gives you a big plastic tub for a gift because you're moving.
-Special is not baked holiday goodies. It's a roommate who makes you homemade mac and cheese and cookies when your drunk and cinnamon rolls when you're cramming for an exam.
-Special is not Christmas dinner. It is family turkey helper nights with my married best friends
-Special is not the last minute dash to pick up a Christmas present. It is going out and getting fourth meal in the middle of the night with best friends.
-Special is not Chrismas decorations. Special is lighting up the whole house and decorating it top to bottom for a suprise birthday party.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Superman dressed as Tarzan
I'm gonna love you better than anyone else
I'm gonna hold you in the highest regard every day
I'm gonna swallow my pride in each and every way
And do my best to always speak the words I should say.
So don't tell me that you're Superman
Don't tell me that you're strong as Tarzan
Just tell me that you'll be my man
Baby, by taking my hand
Then Tell me that you won't go
Unless it's with the flow
Tell me that you'll stay
And you'll never go astray
Tell me you won't let me leave
But that you'll always believe
We weren't meant to be
Even when it's not what you see.
I'm gonna love you better than anyone else
I'm gonna hold you in the highest regard every day
I'm gonna swallow my pride in each and every way
And do my best to always speak the words I should say.
I'm gonna hold you in the highest regard every day
I'm gonna swallow my pride in each and every way
And do my best to always speak the words I should say.
So don't tell me that you're Superman
Don't tell me that you're strong as Tarzan
Just tell me that you'll be my man
Baby, by taking my hand
Then Tell me that you won't go
Unless it's with the flow
Tell me that you'll stay
And you'll never go astray
Tell me you won't let me leave
But that you'll always believe
We weren't meant to be
Even when it's not what you see.
I'm gonna love you better than anyone else
I'm gonna hold you in the highest regard every day
I'm gonna swallow my pride in each and every way
And do my best to always speak the words I should say.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
lies and shadows
I am getting my ass kicked! I'm not battleready! I'm a sorry ass excuse for a soldier today. Today, Lord, I need you to drag my wounded ass off the field. Lord, I have gone into battle without my armor and I'm not even swinging my sword. I have it sitting on my hip and am walking around in a daze.
I've been in a bad mood with a bad attitude for weeks now. "Oh," I cry, "I'm the weakened victim!" I'm letting the demons ride me. I'm allowing them to have power over me. I'm letting them sit there, one on each shoulder, and whisper lies into my ears. I'm letting them rob me of my God-given peace and joy! Hell, if you are going to let someone lie to you at least make it good news!
I said to God, I'm still using my sword; I'm still in your word. He quickly made clear to me, however, that carrying the sword around is not the same thing as using it. "Great! You know my words? Use them!" said the Lord. "They are powerful! They are timeless!"
Lord, I've been out there trying to live my life on my own again as though I have some clue as to what I want or what I need. I know neither! I know that you are synonymous with life for me. As soon as I lose track of you, I begin dying all over again. I have no light to shine without you. All I can do is reflect you, and when I'm not doing that I'm cloaked in darkness, evil, and failure.
Lord, I don't do the victim well and I don't do failure well. I was created to shine, and the only way that I can do that is to reflect you. If anything about me is good and alive and spirited and infectious, it's you! The light in my eyes and my carefree dancing around like a fool and my sideways grin and the days when I can do little more than laugh and run and soak up the sunshine-that's all you!
Lord, forgive me for listening to the lies of demons. Forgive me for believing them. Forgive me for ever lacking confidence and peace. Forgive me for all the days I wallow in stress or self pity. Forgive me for all the days when I don't laugh and dance and make music and spread your peace and joy into everyone I come in contact with. Forgive me for allowing my focus to be on me rather than you and everyone who needs to feel your love. Forgive me for concerning myself with what in this world is real besides you. All other things are just shadows.
Forgive me for not praising your name every single moment of the day because I am young and healthy and loved by so many. I can run and jump and leap and dance and shout, and my life is brimming over with blessings and opportunities. I have no right to be anything other than happy as a lark and humbled by your grace.
Teach me, Father, that I have no real problems, and teach me to believe every single one of your promises with my heart rather than my head so that it may be "credited to me as righteousness."
I've been in a bad mood with a bad attitude for weeks now. "Oh," I cry, "I'm the weakened victim!" I'm letting the demons ride me. I'm allowing them to have power over me. I'm letting them sit there, one on each shoulder, and whisper lies into my ears. I'm letting them rob me of my God-given peace and joy! Hell, if you are going to let someone lie to you at least make it good news!
I said to God, I'm still using my sword; I'm still in your word. He quickly made clear to me, however, that carrying the sword around is not the same thing as using it. "Great! You know my words? Use them!" said the Lord. "They are powerful! They are timeless!"
Lord, I've been out there trying to live my life on my own again as though I have some clue as to what I want or what I need. I know neither! I know that you are synonymous with life for me. As soon as I lose track of you, I begin dying all over again. I have no light to shine without you. All I can do is reflect you, and when I'm not doing that I'm cloaked in darkness, evil, and failure.
Lord, I don't do the victim well and I don't do failure well. I was created to shine, and the only way that I can do that is to reflect you. If anything about me is good and alive and spirited and infectious, it's you! The light in my eyes and my carefree dancing around like a fool and my sideways grin and the days when I can do little more than laugh and run and soak up the sunshine-that's all you!
Lord, forgive me for listening to the lies of demons. Forgive me for believing them. Forgive me for ever lacking confidence and peace. Forgive me for all the days I wallow in stress or self pity. Forgive me for all the days when I don't laugh and dance and make music and spread your peace and joy into everyone I come in contact with. Forgive me for allowing my focus to be on me rather than you and everyone who needs to feel your love. Forgive me for concerning myself with what in this world is real besides you. All other things are just shadows.
Forgive me for not praising your name every single moment of the day because I am young and healthy and loved by so many. I can run and jump and leap and dance and shout, and my life is brimming over with blessings and opportunities. I have no right to be anything other than happy as a lark and humbled by your grace.
Teach me, Father, that I have no real problems, and teach me to believe every single one of your promises with my heart rather than my head so that it may be "credited to me as righteousness."
Saturday, April 21, 2007
weakness everlasting
I want to learn how to put on the full armor of God. With it, I will learn how to stand- after everything to stand. I will wear the belt of truth and the helmet of salvation. I will fit my feet with the readiness that comes with the gospel of peace. Also, I will don the breastplace of righteousness and the shield of faith. Sounds like good protection and perfect defenses, doesn't it? However, I only have one weapon. The only weapon I have as a Christian is the Sword of the Spirit: The Word of God! But what else could I need? This was the only weapon Christ ever used against the devil. When tempted by the devil, Jesus simply quoted the words of his father. That's all we ever need to do to tap into the insurmountable power of God. (Ephesians 6:10-18)
Though I wish I were the embodiment of strength, I am nothing but weakness everlasting. For this reason, I thank God that his strength is perfected in my weakness. I doubt and I fear and I worry. I suffer the betrayal of friends. I criticize and I judge. I forgive and I do not remain angry, but I still judge and critize. If anyone in this world seeks to hurt me, I can assure them they will have no trouble. I will trust with the innocence of a child every time. I don't do it because I'm stupid, but because despite everything I can't help but believe that humanity is better than intentionally seeking to hurt others. I don't worry about having my heart ripped out time after time because since I will never fully give it to anyone but God that can't really happen. I can get hurt and bruised and take a real beating out there, but God will attend to my wounds and clean me up. I only have one weapon after all, which is His word. In it, he promises me that I will never be alone and that "the only thing that matters is faith expressing itself through love." (Galatians 5:6)
Despite that, I can't feel sorry for my enemies. I can be kind to them as the Bible instructs me, but I haven't figured out how to pity them. If nothing else, I know I should pity the absence of God in their lives for that must be hell on earth, yet I blame them for choosing the path of greatest destruction to themselves. Why is it that those people who are hardest to love really are the ones most in need of it? God, is it possible for us to love the devil out of them? Or should we stay at a distance and just try to pray it out of them? Or should it be a combination of the two?
I still have not learned that it's not about me. Those who hurt me do so because they have not love. I still have not learned the balance between turning the other cheek, forgiving those who persecute me, and avoiding tossing my pearls to swine. I still have not learned that the only strength that matters to God is giving myself to others in service.
I still have not learned how to separate dignity and foolish pride. I also don't know the difference between false hope and the real thing. I don't know when it's best to let my heart and my gut instincts lead and to silence logic and reason. I don't know when to fight and when to quit. I don't know when to hold on and when to let go. I don't know when to stay and when to go. If everything is going the way it should, will there still be pain associated with the experience? And if so, why? Do our emotions often betray us? Or are they our true north? Caught betwixt emotion and logic, I do not know which should govern.
I know that "there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. There is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak...(Ecclesiastes 3:8). I just wish I didn't feel like God had left it so much in my hands to figure out which time was which.
Even if must live my life continously deprived of that which my heart desires, God, I will yet trust you, follow you; I will always seek you. I pray that this is faith because it is my only understanding of it.
Today I am a prisoner of my pride, but I pray it won't always be this way. Maybe one day I will be strong enough to be ridiculous in full view of the whole world and not give a shit about what they think about my weakness or my stength.
Though I wish I were the embodiment of strength, I am nothing but weakness everlasting. For this reason, I thank God that his strength is perfected in my weakness. I doubt and I fear and I worry. I suffer the betrayal of friends. I criticize and I judge. I forgive and I do not remain angry, but I still judge and critize. If anyone in this world seeks to hurt me, I can assure them they will have no trouble. I will trust with the innocence of a child every time. I don't do it because I'm stupid, but because despite everything I can't help but believe that humanity is better than intentionally seeking to hurt others. I don't worry about having my heart ripped out time after time because since I will never fully give it to anyone but God that can't really happen. I can get hurt and bruised and take a real beating out there, but God will attend to my wounds and clean me up. I only have one weapon after all, which is His word. In it, he promises me that I will never be alone and that "the only thing that matters is faith expressing itself through love." (Galatians 5:6)
Despite that, I can't feel sorry for my enemies. I can be kind to them as the Bible instructs me, but I haven't figured out how to pity them. If nothing else, I know I should pity the absence of God in their lives for that must be hell on earth, yet I blame them for choosing the path of greatest destruction to themselves. Why is it that those people who are hardest to love really are the ones most in need of it? God, is it possible for us to love the devil out of them? Or should we stay at a distance and just try to pray it out of them? Or should it be a combination of the two?
I still have not learned that it's not about me. Those who hurt me do so because they have not love. I still have not learned the balance between turning the other cheek, forgiving those who persecute me, and avoiding tossing my pearls to swine. I still have not learned that the only strength that matters to God is giving myself to others in service.
I still have not learned how to separate dignity and foolish pride. I also don't know the difference between false hope and the real thing. I don't know when it's best to let my heart and my gut instincts lead and to silence logic and reason. I don't know when to fight and when to quit. I don't know when to hold on and when to let go. I don't know when to stay and when to go. If everything is going the way it should, will there still be pain associated with the experience? And if so, why? Do our emotions often betray us? Or are they our true north? Caught betwixt emotion and logic, I do not know which should govern.
I know that "there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. There is a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak...(Ecclesiastes 3:8). I just wish I didn't feel like God had left it so much in my hands to figure out which time was which.
Even if must live my life continously deprived of that which my heart desires, God, I will yet trust you, follow you; I will always seek you. I pray that this is faith because it is my only understanding of it.
Today I am a prisoner of my pride, but I pray it won't always be this way. Maybe one day I will be strong enough to be ridiculous in full view of the whole world and not give a shit about what they think about my weakness or my stength.
Monday, April 02, 2007
The C Word
I was watching a random commercial the other day and I had a strange thought. The commercial was for some battle of the sexes games and one of the questions was what are the three C's of ring buying? Somehow or another I got to thinking about all the words that start with C. I'm starting to think all the really important things in life do start with a C.
For instance,
Christ--SAVIOR!!
Cross--best/worst thing ever!
Christian--saved by grace!
Charity --giving of oneself
Conviction --knowing what's right
Commitment --faithfulness
Choices--opportunities
Comfort--great word!
Conversation--i love to talk!
Chuckles--laughing is imperative
Cheerfulness-having a nice life
Charisma--drawing others to you
Conflict--something to occupy you
Competition--makes you better
Compassion-- teaches you to love others
Competence--ability
Compliments--warm fuzzies
Change--reason to get up in the morning
Champion--top dawg!
Challenge--something to strive for
Courage--inner strength
Companions--friends and loved ones
Comrades--buddies
Capability--you can do it!
Craziness--what could be better?
Comedy--everything is so funny
Conscience--guide to help you
Connection--bond with others
Caution--wise decisions
Curves--attraction
Cuddling--too sweet
Chocolate--tastes too good
Caffeine--for sleepy days
Climax--you know
Caring--what we were put here for
Credibility--believable
Concerts--good music
Colas--coke
Cheribum--angels
Chariots--pedestal for mere mortals
Concentration--focus
Coping--making it through
Chilling --relaxing
Chances--risk taking
Careers--something to do
Cars--how to get around
Cats--best animals ever!
Cerveza--okay so I cheated!!
Coast--love to be by the ocean
Chemistry--what relationship gets by without it?
Clothes--make me so happy
Copies--for when you mess up or want to share
Candy--goes without saying
Cupcakes--need i say it?
Cease--cut it out!
Creeps--something to call those who don't know when to cease
cash--makes the world go round
Civility--what makes it possible for us all to live together
For instance,
Christ--SAVIOR!!
Cross--best/worst thing ever!
Christian--saved by grace!
Charity --giving of oneself
Conviction --knowing what's right
Commitment --faithfulness
Choices--opportunities
Comfort--great word!
Conversation--i love to talk!
Chuckles--laughing is imperative
Cheerfulness-having a nice life
Charisma--drawing others to you
Conflict--something to occupy you
Competition--makes you better
Compassion-- teaches you to love others
Competence--ability
Compliments--warm fuzzies
Change--reason to get up in the morning
Champion--top dawg!
Challenge--something to strive for
Courage--inner strength
Companions--friends and loved ones
Comrades--buddies
Capability--you can do it!
Craziness--what could be better?
Comedy--everything is so funny
Conscience--guide to help you
Connection--bond with others
Caution--wise decisions
Curves--attraction
Cuddling--too sweet
Chocolate--tastes too good
Caffeine--for sleepy days
Climax--you know
Caring--what we were put here for
Credibility--believable
Concerts--good music
Colas--coke
Cheribum--angels
Chariots--pedestal for mere mortals
Concentration--focus
Coping--making it through
Chilling --relaxing
Chances--risk taking
Careers--something to do
Cars--how to get around
Cats--best animals ever!
Cerveza--okay so I cheated!!
Coast--love to be by the ocean
Chemistry--what relationship gets by without it?
Clothes--make me so happy
Copies--for when you mess up or want to share
Candy--goes without saying
Cupcakes--need i say it?
Cease--cut it out!
Creeps--something to call those who don't know when to cease
cash--makes the world go round
Civility--what makes it possible for us all to live together
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)