Don't wait to get on the happy drugs

I met this wonderful and very friendly girl the other day. She was intelligent, outgoing, and seemingly well adjusted. She was giving me some advice on how to survive my first year of law school since she had already jumped that hurdle. I do not wish to diminish her counsel, but what I remember most about our conversation is her telling me, "Don't wait to get on the happy drugs." She was of course referring to things like Paxil, Prozac, etc. At any rate, that sentence ran through my mind intermittently throughout the rest of the day. "Don't wait to get on the happy drugs."
Given the rigors of law school after only three weeks, this was starting to sound like a good idea. I don't think I'm going to wait to get on the happy drugs. Prozac and paxil aren't my happy drugs. My God in heaven and his son Jesus Christ, my savior, are my happy drugs. So when I'm feeling stressed and overwhelmed, all I have to do is take my happy drugs. I have a lifetime prescription. Are they expensive? Some may think so. They cost me my soul. Personally, I think it's an excellent trade off. I receive a lifetime supply of happiness in exchange for my battered, tarnished, ruined, broken and empty soul. Not only that, but like any great product, it comes with free gifts. It's way more than I paid for! I get eternal life, unconditional love, mercy, grace, peace, and an everpresent help in time of need. There is no better package deal on the market than that! You better hurry! This is a limited offer, expiring with your mortal body.