Pregnancy is not for Commentary

I'm 2 days away from being 39 weeks pregnant.  I look and feel super pregnant in every way possible.  Sleeping is like an impossible nightmare as no matter how I lay down or try to get up or which bed, chair, couch, etc. I use nothing is comfortable and getting back up is generally quite painful.  My feet are swollen up like grapefruit practically all day every day and my hands are numb from swelling.  I'm having pretty severe cramps every night before bed and still no baby comes.  I lay down and try to rest like I'm supposed to and next I awake the pain has subsided.


However, all of this doesn't bother me near as much as the commentary from people around me....family, friends, coworkers, complete strangers.


I do not need to hear how miserable I must feel.  I do not need to be asked on repeat when my due date is, whether I'm having a boy or a girl, whether this my first or second and what my baby's name will be.  I do not need to be asked how I'm handling the heat.  I do not need to be asked when I'm going on maternity leave as though I have a clue when this baby will be here or that going to work is some sort of if I feel like it situation.


If you would not speak to me if I weren't pregnant, please do not speak to me because I am pregnant.
If you do not know my name, please do not ask me the name of my unborn child.
If you think I look fully cooked or like I'm about to pop please keep those thoughts to yourself.
Please do not feel the need to find out if I'm having twins or just an enormous baby based on the size of my stomach.


I've been trying to grow this child for nearly a year now, do you think you are going to say anything original to me or that will contribute to my happiness?  Do you want to be rude for no reason?
Apparently, there is nothing I can say in my own defense of this rude barrage of constant questioning that will not make me a hormonal .  Therefore, I'm forced to answer questions politely and grin and bare it.  But honestly, I'm so over it.  I'm emotional and exhausted and tired of your questions. 


Just treat me like a normal person.  Just say hey, how are you?  And then make some small talk about the weather or a recent news event.  Or even better....please don't talk to me at all.  I'm carrying enough weight around with me not to need the weight of carrying on a conversation with you about the details of my pregnancy.


I'm sorry that there is not a way for me to hide the obvious fact that I'm pregnant, but believe me I would if I could.


With regard to people who know me better, please stop telling me that you think I will have a 9+ pound baby or that you want me to stay pregnant until for you own stupid reasons or agenda.  See above details of how I feel and realize that I do not wish to be pregnant another single second longer than I have to be and in my opinion anyone that would wish that upon me has absolutely no regard for me or how I feel.  My life is the only one being directly impacted by carrying this child, so you can all stuff it with regard to when this baby will be born unless your hope for when he will arrive is within the next 5 minutes.