The value of an alternate ending lies in the possibilities. I love a movie that comes with alternate endings. I've never seen one that I preferred to the original ending. Most of the time the alternate endings aren't very well done and some of them aren't even plausible. In fact, I can't think of a single one I've seen that I would have put in the movie in lieu of the original.
However, I still love the alternate endings. There is just something so exciting about thinking that the same story could have ended in a totally different way. I know that when scenes in the movie of my life don't end quite as I would have liked them to, I always come up with an alternate ending. Somehow devising an alternate ending just seems more hopeful, less written in stone, less permanent and finalized.
If I had the power to make my life embody the alternate ending I have imagined, I would most likely would choose not to, but just knowing the possibility was there-- that if some event had played out differently it would have completely changed the ending-- is mystical and exciting to me.
The funny thing about alternate endings is to make the story end differently you have to change something in the middle or the beginning. I find that most often I'm not willing to sacrifice the other parts of the story in order to change the ultimate outcome.
It's not that its possible, but I love the romantic ideal of having a moment with the power to stand alone, not connected to the past or the future. I love the concept that something can be beautiful in and of itself lacking the baggage of the past and the strings of the future.
Unfortunately, just as we have seen from movies like Back to the Future and Deja Vu, it seems inevitable that if we change something in the beginning of the story, the end invariably changes, and most often, not in the way we meant it to. By changing the end of one event, we have tampered with the beginning of another.
It is these circumstances that make me wish that, like the movies, we could watch the alternate endings of the scenes of our lives, without having to replace the original ending. After all, the alternate ending in the movies is an entertaining bonus of the movie that is disconnected from the movie itself, except for carrying over the information needed to give it whatever value it does possess.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
seventh grade
I wish the seventh grade kids I work with weren’t mean to each other.
I wish people realized the influence they have on each other and that the ones that were so influenced knew how little what those people thought of them mattered. For instance, it doesn’t matter what people who are willing to make fun of others think because they are obviously lacking all the qualities of a truly valuable person such as tact, compassion, respect, and education.
I hear these kids calling each other fat and spreading rumors about one another, accusing twins of incestuous relations and it makes me mad. First off because they don’t have the right to make life harder on this earth for one another. Secondly, because kids who can’t write or speak properly and can scarcely spell haven’t earned the right to evaluate the lives of others.
When I was in about eighth grade, a kid at the lockers called me fat and it has taken me a long time to get over a simple comment like that. If I had better understood what motivated him to say something like that when all a comment like that does is serve to make someone else feel bad, I would have said I’m sorry your parents didn’t love you well enough that your happiness comes from the inside rather than your having to obtain it by trying to steal some of mine. However, that would have been a mouthful for an eighth grader!
These kids are going nowhere fast and they haven’t a clue what it will take to be successful in this world nor do they have the skills. I’m trying to explain to them that outside of school no one cares who you can beat up. They let everyone control them because they allow every one around them to anger them and do it easily over the things that are not the marrow of life.
I’ve always known I’ve never wanted to be a teacher because it’s so much like continuously watching car crashes in the making, knowing what’s needed to prevent them, yet being powerless to stop them. All being the Reading Coach has taught me is what I already knew about me….I wasn’t meant to teach.
I think being a good parent is about one of the best contributions you can make to this world. Love your children no matter what, beat them when they are bad, play with them out in the yard, read to them, encourage them, inspire them, teach them something new every chance you get. You are their foundation and their only basis of support. If you don’t teach them that they are beautiful, talented, special, unique, strong, athletic, and smart they will never know it because that’s definitely not the message the world is sending them. People can’t aspire to a potential they don’t believe they have.
From the time I was born, my parents were constantly telling my brother and I that we were beautiful and athletic and smart. They just knew how to show us how well they loved us and to build us up constantly. There was nothing we didn’t try. We played all kinds of sports, we had lots of friends, and we made pretty decent grades. We were then and are now confident, happy, and well adjusted. We are not easily led and we always think for ourselves. My parents always put us first and sacrificed to give us a stable home life and to always make sure we knew we were safe and loved, though the world crashed down around us.
Most of the kids I work with don’t have the advantage of doting parents. Their parents are self seeking and worldly. Some of them are on drugs, many of them don’t spend any time with their kids, a lot of them probably never hear I love you; no one teaches them to be respectful or to work hard and get an education so as to make something out of themselves.
Consequently, these kids are in seventh grade and they can scarcely read or write. Their grammar and pronunciation is so poor that much of the time what they are saying is incomprehensible because they mutter, stutter, and stammer, and I must have them repeat what they are saying several times. However, they know more about drugs, fighting, and sex that I know at twice their age. I suppose all of that makes you cooler in seventh grade but it doesn’t give you any points on a college exam, on a resume, or in a job interview. I guess they know all they will ever need to know to be employee of the month at some minimum wage job or be the best inmate on their cell block, but if they are looking for more than that, they are going to need to stop focusing on what’s wrong with their classmates and get their heads in the books and start thinking for themselves.
I could never be a good teacher because the only thing I would ever try to teach my students is their potential and how to live up to it, as well as how to love and accept one another. I would try to instill in them that it's better to walk through fire than to ever risk unnecessarily wounding another. And I'm pretty sure that I'm not qualified to teach those things.
Today, I'm thankful for my wonderful parents who told us that we possessed qualities we weren't worthy of so that we might rise up and attain them, and I am thankful for the many teachers I've had that kept working hard to fill the vessles of our minds, despite the odds.
I wish people realized the influence they have on each other and that the ones that were so influenced knew how little what those people thought of them mattered. For instance, it doesn’t matter what people who are willing to make fun of others think because they are obviously lacking all the qualities of a truly valuable person such as tact, compassion, respect, and education.
I hear these kids calling each other fat and spreading rumors about one another, accusing twins of incestuous relations and it makes me mad. First off because they don’t have the right to make life harder on this earth for one another. Secondly, because kids who can’t write or speak properly and can scarcely spell haven’t earned the right to evaluate the lives of others.
When I was in about eighth grade, a kid at the lockers called me fat and it has taken me a long time to get over a simple comment like that. If I had better understood what motivated him to say something like that when all a comment like that does is serve to make someone else feel bad, I would have said I’m sorry your parents didn’t love you well enough that your happiness comes from the inside rather than your having to obtain it by trying to steal some of mine. However, that would have been a mouthful for an eighth grader!
These kids are going nowhere fast and they haven’t a clue what it will take to be successful in this world nor do they have the skills. I’m trying to explain to them that outside of school no one cares who you can beat up. They let everyone control them because they allow every one around them to anger them and do it easily over the things that are not the marrow of life.
I’ve always known I’ve never wanted to be a teacher because it’s so much like continuously watching car crashes in the making, knowing what’s needed to prevent them, yet being powerless to stop them. All being the Reading Coach has taught me is what I already knew about me….I wasn’t meant to teach.
I think being a good parent is about one of the best contributions you can make to this world. Love your children no matter what, beat them when they are bad, play with them out in the yard, read to them, encourage them, inspire them, teach them something new every chance you get. You are their foundation and their only basis of support. If you don’t teach them that they are beautiful, talented, special, unique, strong, athletic, and smart they will never know it because that’s definitely not the message the world is sending them. People can’t aspire to a potential they don’t believe they have.
From the time I was born, my parents were constantly telling my brother and I that we were beautiful and athletic and smart. They just knew how to show us how well they loved us and to build us up constantly. There was nothing we didn’t try. We played all kinds of sports, we had lots of friends, and we made pretty decent grades. We were then and are now confident, happy, and well adjusted. We are not easily led and we always think for ourselves. My parents always put us first and sacrificed to give us a stable home life and to always make sure we knew we were safe and loved, though the world crashed down around us.
Most of the kids I work with don’t have the advantage of doting parents. Their parents are self seeking and worldly. Some of them are on drugs, many of them don’t spend any time with their kids, a lot of them probably never hear I love you; no one teaches them to be respectful or to work hard and get an education so as to make something out of themselves.
Consequently, these kids are in seventh grade and they can scarcely read or write. Their grammar and pronunciation is so poor that much of the time what they are saying is incomprehensible because they mutter, stutter, and stammer, and I must have them repeat what they are saying several times. However, they know more about drugs, fighting, and sex that I know at twice their age. I suppose all of that makes you cooler in seventh grade but it doesn’t give you any points on a college exam, on a resume, or in a job interview. I guess they know all they will ever need to know to be employee of the month at some minimum wage job or be the best inmate on their cell block, but if they are looking for more than that, they are going to need to stop focusing on what’s wrong with their classmates and get their heads in the books and start thinking for themselves.
I could never be a good teacher because the only thing I would ever try to teach my students is their potential and how to live up to it, as well as how to love and accept one another. I would try to instill in them that it's better to walk through fire than to ever risk unnecessarily wounding another. And I'm pretty sure that I'm not qualified to teach those things.
Today, I'm thankful for my wonderful parents who told us that we possessed qualities we weren't worthy of so that we might rise up and attain them, and I am thankful for the many teachers I've had that kept working hard to fill the vessles of our minds, despite the odds.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
estimating assets and liabilities
I challenge you to overestimate God. You will not be able to do it! For it is impossible; God is limitless--in love, power, forgiveness. His power in our lives is limitless so long as we don't put restrictions and conditions on him.
Our contract with God is an aleatory contract, which means that it is an exchange of unequal values. God gives us peace, power, and love without limits, as well as eternal life; all we give him is our filthy ragged orphan soul. Your soul is orphan before you give it to God because he is its father.
Our contract with God is also a contract of adhesion, meaning that only one party to the contract writes the terms and that's God. You can take it or leave it, but why would you leave it?
God is your only independent asset, with all other things you value in life worth nothing without him. Spend all your time overestimating God in as much as you can so that you can begin to catch a glimpse of all the splendor and majesty that comprises him.
Next, we move on to liability. Don't forget to estimate Satan. Don't underestimate him because he does have power over this world and power over you if you don't guard against him. That makes him a big risk. Identify your loss exposures. In which areas are you most prone to lose ground to Satan? Weigh his power and assess his strengths as your adversary. Then, use your pitiful overstimation of God's power to make Satan a footstool beneath your feet.
I call any overestimation of God's power pitiful. An overstimation of God is an oxymoron, which is the jamming together of two words that have nothing in common. The reason overestimating God is an oxymoron is because we are incapable of understanding all of God's capabilities and qualifications as our righteous King.
Our contract with God is an aleatory contract, which means that it is an exchange of unequal values. God gives us peace, power, and love without limits, as well as eternal life; all we give him is our filthy ragged orphan soul. Your soul is orphan before you give it to God because he is its father.
Our contract with God is also a contract of adhesion, meaning that only one party to the contract writes the terms and that's God. You can take it or leave it, but why would you leave it?
God is your only independent asset, with all other things you value in life worth nothing without him. Spend all your time overestimating God in as much as you can so that you can begin to catch a glimpse of all the splendor and majesty that comprises him.
Next, we move on to liability. Don't forget to estimate Satan. Don't underestimate him because he does have power over this world and power over you if you don't guard against him. That makes him a big risk. Identify your loss exposures. In which areas are you most prone to lose ground to Satan? Weigh his power and assess his strengths as your adversary. Then, use your pitiful overstimation of God's power to make Satan a footstool beneath your feet.
I call any overestimation of God's power pitiful. An overstimation of God is an oxymoron, which is the jamming together of two words that have nothing in common. The reason overestimating God is an oxymoron is because we are incapable of understanding all of God's capabilities and qualifications as our righteous King.
repentant heart
Blessed are those who struggle through this life, painfully standing out. Lord, bleesed are those cannot silence the differences you placed in their souls in order to conform to the dictates of this world. Blessed are those who know the turmoil of a life without you, who recognize what they are going through, and who turn back to the light. Blessed are we who have lived in disobedience to you and who have betrayed you though our actions. For it is we who have felt the your sweet forgiveness and learned the meaning of love unconditional.
Blessed are we who have stood toe to toe with Satan himself and used no strength of our own but rather the power of your name to vanquish him.
The Bible tells us that God would leave all his saints to go in search of one sheep who has gone astray. In fact, while Jesus was on earth, he somewhat neglected the righteous, knowing it was "the sick who needed a doctor"-the sinner who needed him most.
Also, Jesus knew that those who had the most to be forgiven for were the ones most grateful of his love and forgiveness.
The men in the Bible who could almost keep the law, aside from their inherent corruption as members of the human race, reveled in their own goodness while the most filthy of sinners praised Jesus for their salvation, washing his feet with their tears and drying them with the very hairs of their heads.
Because of this, God would prefer a repentant murderer, rapist, or homosexual to a missionary, nun, or preacher who lacks a repentant heart. While true that faith without works is dead and those who love the Lord will do as he has commanded us, you still cannot be good enough to earth the gift he has given us all or bad enough not to deserve it.
You can however be blind enough not to obtain it. Paul said, "of all sinners, I am the worst." Jesus did save Paul. Jesus saves this sinner every day.
Blessed are we who have stood toe to toe with Satan himself and used no strength of our own but rather the power of your name to vanquish him.
The Bible tells us that God would leave all his saints to go in search of one sheep who has gone astray. In fact, while Jesus was on earth, he somewhat neglected the righteous, knowing it was "the sick who needed a doctor"-the sinner who needed him most.
Also, Jesus knew that those who had the most to be forgiven for were the ones most grateful of his love and forgiveness.
The men in the Bible who could almost keep the law, aside from their inherent corruption as members of the human race, reveled in their own goodness while the most filthy of sinners praised Jesus for their salvation, washing his feet with their tears and drying them with the very hairs of their heads.
Because of this, God would prefer a repentant murderer, rapist, or homosexual to a missionary, nun, or preacher who lacks a repentant heart. While true that faith without works is dead and those who love the Lord will do as he has commanded us, you still cannot be good enough to earth the gift he has given us all or bad enough not to deserve it.
You can however be blind enough not to obtain it. Paul said, "of all sinners, I am the worst." Jesus did save Paul. Jesus saves this sinner every day.
I asked the Lord to let the wind blow and I got a tornado
Pslam 150:1 tells us to Praise him in His sanctuary. His sanctuary is a temple. My body has clearly been called His temple. Therefore, I am to praise Him in my body. Well, that means I will praise Him all the days I'm on the earth, dwelling in my mortal body.
I praise the Lord for granting me the desires of my heart. The Bible tells us the Lord gives us the desires of our hearts, and while I've never figured out if He inspires in us the things we want or He grants us the things our hearts already desire, I'm beginning to think it's a little of both.
I ask for things and believe it will done for me and alas it is. I say to the Lord, "I want this and it may be bad for me, but I still want it, Lord, and I can handle the consequences." However, I say, "even if I never get it that's okay but that doesn't change the fact that I want it." The Lord says, "here it is. Can you handle it?" I say, "yes, for you are still my Lord."
Lord, I'm astounded at how effeciently and exactly you have answered all my petitions.
I caution us all to be careful of what we pray for. The Lord is listening and sometimes he will knock you off your feet with how precise and quickly he moves. Do not hesitate to vocalize the desires of your heart for the Lord knows them anyways, be they good or bad, but be strong enough in your relationship with the Lord and in your focus upon him to handle what he sends.
After all, I asked God for excitement and power and for mystery and elation, and the next thing I knew I had a storm brewing on the horizon. The storm is the embodiment of all these things I asked for, but it is prudent to remember that I have no control over the storm and it has the power to destroy yme. Therefore, make sure that God is always waiting in the wings to quell the storm you begged him to unleash.
I praise the Lord for granting me the desires of my heart. The Bible tells us the Lord gives us the desires of our hearts, and while I've never figured out if He inspires in us the things we want or He grants us the things our hearts already desire, I'm beginning to think it's a little of both.
I ask for things and believe it will done for me and alas it is. I say to the Lord, "I want this and it may be bad for me, but I still want it, Lord, and I can handle the consequences." However, I say, "even if I never get it that's okay but that doesn't change the fact that I want it." The Lord says, "here it is. Can you handle it?" I say, "yes, for you are still my Lord."
Lord, I'm astounded at how effeciently and exactly you have answered all my petitions.
I caution us all to be careful of what we pray for. The Lord is listening and sometimes he will knock you off your feet with how precise and quickly he moves. Do not hesitate to vocalize the desires of your heart for the Lord knows them anyways, be they good or bad, but be strong enough in your relationship with the Lord and in your focus upon him to handle what he sends.
After all, I asked God for excitement and power and for mystery and elation, and the next thing I knew I had a storm brewing on the horizon. The storm is the embodiment of all these things I asked for, but it is prudent to remember that I have no control over the storm and it has the power to destroy yme. Therefore, make sure that God is always waiting in the wings to quell the storm you begged him to unleash.
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