As everyone close to me has been hearing for the past several weeks, I hate the holidays!! It is just this wretched time of year other people declared to be special a long time ago. I think it just stresses most people out and depresses the rest. It's either people don't have enough money or time to buy presents for everyone they feel obligated to or they don't have anything great to do with fun people or they have to work and can't be with their families.
During all the time when we lived in Gardendale and it could have been fun, my mom has had to work. Now that we are living in a cracker jack box of a house, she is finally off for Chistmas. Our family is tiny, so it will basically just be me, my parents, and my unpleasant grandparents who don't have a single nice or loving thing to say to anyone. I'm too old to care about presents and I hate holiday food. Plus, Christmas is lousy because all anyone does is lay around and eat and there is nowhere to go because everything is closed and you can't escape with your friends because they are all engrossed in their families whether they want to be or not. Then there is nothing to watch on TV save for the same three Christmas movies shown on marathon mode.
New Year's isn't any better. We have been conditioned to believe that we what do for New Year's and who we spend it with sets the tone for the rest of the year. It makes me worry about myself. I never seem to be able to find anything fun to do or friends, though I have plenty of them, to spend it with.
I love my family and I love my Savior but I hate the holidays! Every other day that hasn't been named a holiday/ "special occasion" always seems to be a pretty damned good day because then people just do what they want to do with who they want to do it with, minus the bullshit and the obligation.
Think about it: Big holidays like Christmas, New Year's, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc are the only days that make you feel like you are supposed to be doing something in particular with particular people instead of doing what you would ordinarily be doing. If you aren't ordinarily a good person having a good time with people you love then some select days on a calendar are not going to save you from yourself.
Funny but if on Christmas I was to sit around in my room eating a hot pocket drinking some beer and watching good old movies, then I'm considered to be a sad lonely miserable person, but if I were to do that any other day people would just think I was just kicking back relaxing.
Special to me is unplanned. Special is what develops when were you weren't planning anything. Special is spur of the moment fun times together and spur of the moment joyfulness and thoughtfulness. Special is not going through the same motions every year because a day on the calendar is designated as special.
Special is what every day feels like to me that isn't called holiday:
-Special is not coming home for Christmas. It's I have a big interview coming up and I want to be home with mom and dad for counsel and moral support.
-Special is not Christmas presents. It's a friend who gives you a big plastic tub for a gift because you're moving.
-Special is not baked holiday goodies. It's a roommate who makes you homemade mac and cheese and cookies when your drunk and cinnamon rolls when you're cramming for an exam.
-Special is not Christmas dinner. It is family turkey helper nights with my married best friends
-Special is not the last minute dash to pick up a Christmas present. It is going out and getting fourth meal in the middle of the night with best friends.
-Special is not Chrismas decorations. Special is lighting up the whole house and decorating it top to bottom for a suprise birthday party.
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